Monthly Archives: March 2018

Wednesday Wisdom With Wyndham – 46

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Wisdom Imparts

By Justin Gonet

A month or so ago, my family and I stayed at the Shaw house for a weekend as we often do these days.  That Saturday night Wyndham wanted to teach my son, Micah, an impromptu lesson about fishing—to impart the tenets of the sport that’s been a big part of his life from an early age.

The scene that ensued was mildly heart-wrenching—my father-in-law there in his wheelchair in the living room, his grandson on a child-sized yellow folding chair in front of him with his yellow note pad in hand, taking in every word and jotting down the key points. While my wife fought back tears, I gathered that there was an intense expression of love transpiring between master and pupil. 

Wyndham is passionate about fishing. If you could watch him in action on a boat with a rod and reel in his hands, you would soon realize his love of the sport goes far beyond hobby. His drawn-out fishing trips with his friends and family are the thing of legend.

What is amazing about Wyndham is that as he loved fishing so much, and similarly loved people, he couldn’t help but want others to participate with him.  He found so much joy in fishing that he didn’t really care what you thought of it, he just wanted you to experience it too!  Fishing brought a peace and freedom that drove him—in the midst of the waves and the shouting of orders at lesser mates.  I’ve never seen such a thing before, nor have I ever been able to achieve it personally.

I believe he understood there was a deeper, intrinsic value in fishing than just the sport itself.  It brought a comradery. It seemed the longer and more arduous the trip, the deeper the bonds that eventually developed. 

But as I watched my son in the midst of this lesson, I believed there was something else going on.  Wyndham was now trying to pass on to my son what he believed was of utmost importance. There was something about this sport he has enjoyed for so many years that he felt he had to pass this on to Micah, even after his own ability to participate has left him.

Wyndham loves to pass things on.  Recently, we acquired two fishing poles from his vast collection for Micah’s further benefit.  A few years ago Wyndham bought a chainsaw and became a bit of a travelling wood-cutter-for-hire in order to boost his firewood stock.  This past Christmas I received a new chainsaw as a gift from him, and an unwritten invitation to pick up where he had left off.  Eight years ago, when his own dog, Jordan, was growing “long in the tooth,” he brought golden retriever puppies home from Colorado for my family and Sam’s family so we could train them in Jordan’s shadow.

Having lived with my wife for close to 10 years now, I’m beginning to realize the breadth of Wyndham’s ability to impart.  He is a peerless dad to his kids.  My wife’s ferocious loyalty to him is a testament to this. So much of how we love and discipline our children is based on the example that was set by him, long before I ever met him.

But there is one thing Wyndham is even more passionate about delivering to others than fishing or family, and that is the Gospel.

In 1 Corinthians 15:3-4 the Bible says, “For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Peter, and then to the Twelve.”

For over forty years, he has sought to embody the simple facts that Paul spells out in this scripture.

The Gospel is hard to believe; to live by it an even more difficult calling. It is not the popular opinion; it is a narrow road.  Wyndham’s life’s work has been to pass the gospel on to others.  But beyond that, he’s helped me understand that the gospel is so powerful it must pervade every aspect of our lives once we receive it.  It is not only the path of our salvation, but it becomes our code of conduct until that salvation is realized in the end.  It’s our source of faith but also our ability to forgive; it’s our hope in the life to come, but it defines the way we treat others now.  The gospel is of first importance in every way.

For all of the great spiritual victories my father-in-law has accomplished in his life some of his most powerful stuff has been transferred in just the last few years, while in his weakest physical condition.  I see the gospel being lived out in the most real way through the joy he still has, though he’s been stripped of his ability to perform the most basic physical tasks—much less fishing and hunting.

Yet, now I understand that those things pale in comparison to the hope he has because of the gospel.  I have seen no more powerful example of the reality of the gospel truths, than the way Wyndham has endured the pain and loss his disease has brought on him.

As I listened to him wrap up his instruction on fishing, I was struck by the fact that even in the act of imparting his tidbits of wisdom, he had conveyed the most profound lesson about the gospel to my son.

 

 

Wednesday Wisdom With Wyndham – 45

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Wisdom Trusts

Jacob: You know Dad, I could lift you much easier if you would let go of the bar.

Wyndham: Sorry, I keep forgetting to let go.

Jacob: Dad, you can let go. I will never, ever drop you.

They laugh. I turn my head to hide the mist forming in my eyes.

The guys were kind enough to humor me with a picture.

“I will never, ever drop you.”

A tender moment. A big lesson. A profound expression of love and trust.

It takes trust, a whole lot of it, to let go of control—in transfers, and in life. The transferee (Wyndham) has absolutely no control over these moves, and is at the mercy of those transferring him.

The three of us—Wyndham, Jacob, and I meet for “transfer tasks” several times a day. I can no longer accomplish these by myself, so Jacob has arranged his schedule to be available to help us. He is exceptionally strong. We work together any time Wyndham must get from his bed or chair to anywhere else. Wyndham assists as much as he can, pulling himself forward to be lifted while holding on to a grab bar. Jacob can lift him completely, but finds it quite difficult if Wyndham forgets to let go of the grab bar.

Such is life—and trust in God.

Life these days hasn’t gone as planned—or hoped. Trust takes on new meanings—believing God loves us when our prayers aren’t answered the ways we hope.  Learning to trust through adversity stretches our faith and deepens our hope. The scripture expresses this well:

(Romans 5:3-6) 
3  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
4  perseverance, character; and character, hope.
5  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
6  You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ …

I hold on to this Scripture. Hope will never disappoint us. Because God has poured out his love.

And…when we are powerless….Christ!

When we realize we are powerless, God takes over as if saying—”son, daughter…I will never drop you.”

13  For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)

I watch with deep respect as I see Wyndham’s wisdom decide to trust…and let go. He has had to let go of all that was normal and daily for him. In all of this his trust grows. His trust inspires my trust.

When life doesn’t go as planned, and difficulties happen—will you let go of the bar?

When life is going well–will you let go of the bar?

Our grasp for control makes it difficult for God to carry us. He won’t force us. We have to let go. Often this is a struggle, as we learn from the psalms:

 
2  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3  Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4  my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5  But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6  I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me (Psalm 13:2-6,emphasis added).

When we were powerless…Christ.

God is big enough, strong enough, and loving enough to hold us, no matter what.

He tells us, “I will never, ever drop you.”

Wisdom trusts.

______________________________________________________________________

I could fill a daily blog for years with wisdom I have learned from Wyndham. However, I’ll stick with one day a week. Each Wednesday I will share wisdom gleaned, not just from me, but from our family who saw him day and night and from friends near and far whose lives he has touched.

Many of you have already told me you wish to share wisdom you learned from Wyndham. If you wish to contribute to this collection please email me at shaw.jeanie@gmail.com with the subject line—Wednesday Wisdom. If you wish to receive these blogs in your inbox, feel free to sign up to follow the blog.

I’ll look forward to meeting you here on Wednesdays. And if you would, please remember us in your prayers. It’s a privilege to have you in our lives.

 

Wednesday Wisdom With Wyndham – 44

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Wisdom Asks the Most Important Questions.

You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God. It was never was about you and them anyway.

A powerful closing to a soul-piercing poem by Mother Theresa.

It’s all too easy to excuse ourselves from doing what is right and good because of weaknesses we see in someone else, or even a group of people such as a church. We can always find weaknesses. We will continue to be hurt throughout life. And yet others’ shortcomings can become our excuses, if we let them.

Have you ever been hurt by someone and felt you had the right to tell them off, to gossip about them, or just ignore them?

Have you ever been hurt by someone (even, and perhaps especially, a Christian) and then shut yourself off from what you know God says, and from what is true–and justify your response because of them?

I am confident our honest answers to these questions have at times been (or currently are) “yes.” We could all tell our stories of hurts and also of ungodly responses (I know I could) —but ultimately the stories aren’t so important.

Our response to our story is incredibly important.

Time after time I have watched and listened as Wyndham has (in one way or another) empathetically listened to hurts and sad situations, and yet then asks the all-important questions:

How will you respond?

What will you do with Jesus?

Wisdom knows that the answer to these questions affect our eternity. Wisdom knows the answer is centered in Jesus.

Wisdom then asks the bottom line question, “What will you do with Jesus?”

This question is asked throughout the Bible in accounts such as the one in Matthew 27:22 when Jesus is on trial and Pilate asks the crowd, “What do I do with this Jesus…?”  Unfortunately, Pilate listens to the crowd. It was easier, in the short term to follow the crowd. It was safer, less messy, less difficult…less selfless.

When Wyndham was diagnosed with the cruel disease he carries in his body, his neurologist made the wise comment, “You will now get to do what everyone needs to do. You can focus on what is really most important in life.”  This was after sharing with him the foundation on which we have built, and continue to build our lives. (The wisdom and compassion of his neurologist is a gift…and perhaps a post for another time.)

It’s hard to stop and focus on what’s most important. It’s hard to ask the questions that are of utmost importance .

Wisdom stops. Wisdom focuses. Wisdom asks.

Wisdom pauses to recount the words Jesus speaks in John 6:63.

  The Spirit alone gives eternal life. Human effort accomplishes nothing. And the very words I have spoken to you are spirit and life. (NLT)

Still, after hearing these words some walked away. It was hard, and they had excuses. Jesus asked the twelve, “Are you also going to leave?”

Peter knew there was nowhere else to go.

I’m grateful Wyndham asks the most important questions, How will you respond? What will you do with Jesus?

Wisdom knows there is nowhere else to go. Nothing (no one) else offers eternal life.

How will you respond? What will you do with Jesus?

What does it really matter about “them?”

You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God. It was never was about you and them anyway.

Wednesday Wisdom With Wyndham – 43

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Wisdom Understands Buckets and Funnels

Nor’easters. They are fierce. For those of us living in New England these mean high winds—accompanied by hearty downpours of rain or hefty droppings of snow.

Today’s forecast calls for a foot of snow. Last week’s nor’easter was a rain event (where we live). That storm was unusually strong—an “every few decades” happening.

Two weeks ago we (for the second time) had our kitchen ceiling “repaired” from damage caused by a nor’easter a couple of years ago. Water had dripped through the ceiling and light fixtures, through the floor, and into the basement. This recent repair was done just in time for the past week’s storm to undo all that had recently been fixed. (Actually, the repair only consisted of sanding and painting the ceiling, and obviously did not deal with the root of the problem.) The damage from this storm redamaged our ceiling—causing it to look just like it did before it was “fixed.” The water once again leaked out of the ceiling through the floor and into the basement. I placed a bucket on the floor to catch the drips. 

This unfortunate and true scenario reminds me of wisdom Wyndham has often dispensed as he (and we) have worked with individuals, marriages, and families. He has referred to this lesson as “buckets and funnels.”

In other words, the contents of the buckets that have been poured into us (by our families, our experiences, our hurts, our pains) will be funneled out from us to other receiving buckets (spouse, children, work associates, family members). When someone’s toxic bucket (full of harmful and sinful patterns) is funneled into ours we get hurt, and the contents of our own buckets can become rancid—filled with bitterness, envy, and all sorts of unresolved relationships and feelings. These, in turn, get funneled into others’ buckets. This keeps on happening—unless we stop the madness.

Wisdom knows we must each recognize what has been funneled into our bucket (both good and bad). We must then stop funneling and leaking harmful thoughts and practices into others’ buckets. We can’t just sand and paint over our buckets. We must fix what’s inside, find the root of the bad, and do repair work. We can’t control what has been poured into our bucket, but we can control what is funneled out.

Toxic becomes pure only through the grace and forgiveness found in Jesus, and the power of his Spirit to change our lives. He allows us to recognize the sludge and empty it from our buckets. Only then can we refill our bucket with the fruits of God’s Spirit, and experience his healing forgiveness. Then, when these purified and refilled buckets are funneled all kinds of good results—and many lives are blessed.

How often I’ve listened as Wyndham has patiently helped men and women discover what has (unintentionally) been filling their buckets and then spilling out and hurting others. He has helped them identify the poisonous contents, dump them out, and by God’s power replace them with what is good, true, and right. Then, they can pass on what is good and true and right.

The storms will continue to come. The water that goes through our roof and into our ceiling will come out, just as what goes into our bucket will funnel out. We can’t just sand and paint over problems and expect our lives to be fixed. They must be repaired and changed from the inside out. The only repair comes through Jesus and his words. He can empty our trash and fill our buckets with his treasures.

Today a big storm is coming. I will need to catch any leaks with a bucket until I discover the real problem. Meanwhile, check your bucket. The contents will be funneled into others.

43  “No good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit;
44  for each tree is known by its own fruit. Figs are not gathered from thorns, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush.
45  The good person out of the good treasure of the heart produces good, and the evil person out of evil treasure produces evil; for it is out of the abundance of the heart that the mouth speaks. Luke 6:43-45 (NRSV)

10  Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11  Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
12  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.         (Psalm 51:10-12)


17  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
18  All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: (2 Corinthians 5:17-18)