Tag Archives: control

Wednesday Wisdom With Wyndham – 45

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Wisdom Trusts

Jacob: You know Dad, I could lift you much easier if you would let go of the bar.

Wyndham: Sorry, I keep forgetting to let go.

Jacob: Dad, you can let go. I will never, ever drop you.

They laugh. I turn my head to hide the mist forming in my eyes.

The guys were kind enough to humor me with a picture.

“I will never, ever drop you.”

A tender moment. A big lesson. A profound expression of love and trust.

It takes trust, a whole lot of it, to let go of control—in transfers, and in life. The transferee (Wyndham) has absolutely no control over these moves, and is at the mercy of those transferring him.

The three of us—Wyndham, Jacob, and I meet for “transfer tasks” several times a day. I can no longer accomplish these by myself, so Jacob has arranged his schedule to be available to help us. He is exceptionally strong. We work together any time Wyndham must get from his bed or chair to anywhere else. Wyndham assists as much as he can, pulling himself forward to be lifted while holding on to a grab bar. Jacob can lift him completely, but finds it quite difficult if Wyndham forgets to let go of the grab bar.

Such is life—and trust in God.

Life these days hasn’t gone as planned—or hoped. Trust takes on new meanings—believing God loves us when our prayers aren’t answered the ways we hope.  Learning to trust through adversity stretches our faith and deepens our hope. The scripture expresses this well:

(Romans 5:3-6) 
3  Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
4  perseverance, character; and character, hope.
5  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
6  You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ …

I hold on to this Scripture. Hope will never disappoint us. Because God has poured out his love.

And…when we are powerless….Christ!

When we realize we are powerless, God takes over as if saying—”son, daughter…I will never drop you.”

13  For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)

I watch with deep respect as I see Wyndham’s wisdom decide to trust…and let go. He has had to let go of all that was normal and daily for him. In all of this his trust grows. His trust inspires my trust.

When life doesn’t go as planned, and difficulties happen—will you let go of the bar?

When life is going well–will you let go of the bar?

Our grasp for control makes it difficult for God to carry us. He won’t force us. We have to let go. Often this is a struggle, as we learn from the psalms:

 
2  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3  Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4  my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5  But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6  I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me (Psalm 13:2-6,emphasis added).

When we were powerless…Christ.

God is big enough, strong enough, and loving enough to hold us, no matter what.

He tells us, “I will never, ever drop you.”

Wisdom trusts.

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I could fill a daily blog for years with wisdom I have learned from Wyndham. However, I’ll stick with one day a week. Each Wednesday I will share wisdom gleaned, not just from me, but from our family who saw him day and night and from friends near and far whose lives he has touched.

Many of you have already told me you wish to share wisdom you learned from Wyndham. If you wish to contribute to this collection please email me at shaw.jeanie@gmail.com with the subject line—Wednesday Wisdom. If you wish to receive these blogs in your inbox, feel free to sign up to follow the blog.

I’ll look forward to meeting you here on Wednesdays. And if you would, please remember us in your prayers. It’s a privilege to have you in our lives.

 

Who’s the Boss?

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Recounting a recent conversation between my daughter and my nearly three-year-old granddaughter, I was reminded of the struggle it can be to let go of control in our lives.  (Disclaimer:  Gracie is as joyful and sweet as they come…but the inner struggle occasionally gets the best of all of us, whether we are two or ninety-two years old.) IMG_1286

K:  Gracie, you haven’t been potty since this morning. You’ve had a lot to drink and you need to go potty before you take your nap.

G:   I don’t need to go.

K:  Yes, you need to go.

G:  No, I’m not going potty. I can hold it.

K:  You will try before you go to bed.  Gracie, you are not going to win.  I’m going to win.  You might as  well go potty now.

G:  No, I will win.  I’m the boss.

K: (With eyes bulging and praying to keep her cool amidst the sassiness)  What?!  You are not the boss.  And you will go to the potty now or be disciplined!

G:  (Knowing discipline is eminent) I’m going potty!  You and daddy are the boss!  You and daddy are the boss!

Sounds rather two-year-oldish, right?  Well, I can certainly relate to the struggle.  I can struggle with letting God be in control (as if I could possibly be in control of God, anyway).  I can think I must figure it out, work it out…anything but faithfully waiting and trusting. I am reminded of the discourse between God and Job.  After God questions Job (on who is in control) Job replies:

  Then Job replied to the LORD: “I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.  You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my counsel without knowledge?’ Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’  My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you.  Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.” Job 42:1-6

It’s not hard to see the fight for control in a two year old.  It can be more difficult to see it in ourselves.  So, what do your struggles for control look like?  Here are some of mine.

It’s all too easy when my husband has neuropathy and doctors can’t yet find out why… to spend more time on Google than on my knees.  The struggle (not in my mind but in my actions) comes with my desire to fix things…thus becoming more self-reliant than God-reliant.

It can be an inner struggle for me to trust that God is always out for my good.  Instead I can dwell in fear.  I can take most anything and find a way to worry about it.  When I do this, I am taking control of my life and plans, rather than entrusting them to my Father, who loves me so much he eagerly hears me, watches over me, sings to me, and allowed his only son to die for me.

I can feel a struggle for control when I feel anxious and repeat conversations in my head after someone hurts my feelings or something isn’t fair…somehow thinking it will be better staying in my mind than releasing it from my grasp and giving it to God…fasting and praying that God will move in the situation and help all of us learn things we need to learn.

It can be a struggle to let go of control and say “I’m sorry” when I feel like someone else has “more to be sorry for,” as if my doing the right and humble thing would somehow make matters worse.

When my plans for my life get disrupted and God has other (or divergent) plans I can say (in grown up words)…”I’m not going potty.  I don’t need to.”

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
…Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:7-8, 10

However, when I pray and read and meditate on God’s truth, it’s much easier to say, “I’m going potty. You are the boss.”  And truthfully, that’s a really good thing. The result of my granddaughter’s trust and obedience made her feel better, left her kidneys healthier, and saved the sheets from a wash.   Likewise, as I let God “take the wheel” of control in my life…. I feel much better as peace and joy take over the place where stress and anxiety once resided.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)

 

 

 

‘Twas the Night Before the Christmas Picture

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Something was seriously wrong with this picture.  I had been looking through family photos and was reminded of a scary looking photograph taken a couple of years ago (and 4 grandchildren ago).  Our good friend and photographer, Vanessa, had a bit of fun in her workshop.  This is what happened:

“Twas the night before the Christmas picture and all through the house

No one was stirring, not even my spouse

The camera was charging on the counter with care

In hopes that the photographer soon would be there.

 

The families were in their homes all snug in their beds,

While visions of mischief…roamed through the photographer’s head

And nana in her Red Sox T-shirt and Papa in his Patriot’s cap

Had fallen asleep, for at least a short nap.

 

We arose the next morning to picture taking and fun chatter;

And the picture was snapped; but what was the matter?!

Confusion arose from the moment of the camera’s flash

So, I checked out its shutter…even checked through the trash

 

Something had happened with our picture…yes it’s true…oh no!

Our heads had been switched (as you can see below)

…Then what to my wondering eyes should appear…

But a miniature Wyndham and ten others held dear!

 

With a sly ol’ photographer…so sly and so quick

I knew in a moment…she must be quite sick!

More rapid than eagles, her mischief it came

And she photoshopped and chuckled, and called them by name.

 “Now KevJean and WynCa! Now EmLeigh, Now CaMel and JeanKris!

On SamKev, JakeGus! On, MelJake, GusWyn! On EmLeigh and KrisSam!

From the top of their heads for the short and the tall!

Now mix them up! Change them up! Mess them up all!!”……..

It’s a frightening sight to see these switched heads.  I was thinking how much scarier it is when we try to “photoshop” our head onto God’s.  I am quite sure of the scripture in Isaiah 55:8-9
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
        neither are your ways my ways,”declares the Lord.
    [9] “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
        so are my ways higher than your ways
        and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Yet, how easy it is to try to make our thoughts God’s thoughts.  I’m grateful he does not hide his thinking from us, but gives us his word of grace and truth (through the scriptures and in the flesh through Jesus) to tell and show us so many of this thoughts. Amos 4:13

    He who forms the mountains,
        creates the wind,
        and reveals his thoughts to man,
    he who turns dawn to darkness,
        and treads the high places of the earth–
        the Lord God Almighty is his name.

At times it seems all too easy to try “switch heads” with God and tell him how to “be God”.  Perhaps that is why it seems easier for many to picture Jesus as a baby in a manger, where he is silent and “smaller than us”.  Yet God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, .. Eph. 1:22

While it is humorous to see our heads switched in a picture….it is sobering to realize how futile,dangerous, and ultimately arrogant it is to “try” to control God and His thoughts.  When I fail to humbly read his word, a subtle shift can happen where I attempt to put my thoughts and feelings onto God’s – instead of changing my thoughts and feelings to be like His.  One of my Bible heroes, Job, tried this line of reasoning – and then got “his head on straight”.   Job 40:2-5
  “Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
        Let him who accuses God answer him!”

    [3] Then Job answered the Lord:

    [4] “I am unworthy–how can I reply to you?
        I put my hand over my mouth.
    [5] I spoke once, but I have no answer–
        twice, but I will say no more.”

May we all keep our heads on straight!