Wisdom Finds the High Road

It was a pivotal time in my life. A time when I could have sold my soul to bitterness. Thankfully, Wyndham’s wisdom (and humility) prevailed.

We had been in the ministry for eight years. I was 28 years old and Wyndham was 30.  He had been preaching in a traditional type church for 3 years. We had led campus ministry for the previous five years, but this was his first preaching job. The church was growing, but the leadership was not united. In fact, one of the leaders would stand at the back door after Wyndham came down from the pulpit and pass out negative literature about us to the people who were leaving.

One woman called and swore at me, and I never even knew why. We were away one week when one of the leaders called and told my husband he should find a new job, as he wouldn’t be able to stay there. Fired. The reason stated was this. “We don’t have any problem with what you are preaching. It’s the Bible. The problem some people are having is that when you come out of the pulpit, you expect people to follow it! And they don’t want to change.”

I was angry with the leaders and their decisions. I felt we had been wronged and were treated unfairly. That was true. I felt, as James and John (in their immaturity) stated in Luke 9:54 like calling down fire from heaven to destroy them.

As Wyndham delivered his last sermon I was waiting for him to “let them have it”— firmly rebuking them.  Instead, he took the high road. He called them to follow Jesus, but then apologized for anything he had ever done to hurt anyone.

What?!  I then struggled with my husband. Why didn’t he let them have it!  Bitterness was growing in my heart.

But he understood the wisdom that comes from God.

  Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.
  But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.
  Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.
  For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
  But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
  Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. (James 3:13-18)

He found the high road and took it, never giving in to bitterness but trusting that God would take care of us. We just needed to be humble and trust God. I had to have some talks with the elders and some soul searching times with God. I realized that Jesus could have sinned even as he hung on the cross. Perhaps he faced his greatest temptation while on the cross! The temptation to be bitter. He was unimaginably mistreated. Yet he said to the angry crowd as they spat and swore and crucified him, “Father forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing.”  (Luke 23:34).  As I read I thought…what do you mean? Of course they knew. Why did he say that?

I do believe they still needed to repent and be baptized to be forgiven (Acts 2:38). But, perhaps Jesus said those word to rid any temptation of bitterness from his heart. If Jesus was not bitter, what right did I have to be bitter? I don’t deserve forgiveness, but Jesus gave it to me.

So, I let it go, and following the example of Wyndham’s “wisdom from above” –truly forgave. God’s word was still true, and his plan for the church was still his only plan. I have hurt others so who am I to hold on to hurt?

I shudder to think where this bitterness would have led me had my husband not taken the high road. I would have lost my soul had I held on.

Soon after, a brother that had been converted in our campus ministry asked if we would be willing to move where he lived to start a church. 13 disciples were there and were willing to support us. One of the families invited us (along with our two girls and a child on the way) to live with them. We had no insurance and no money—but a lot of faith. God blessed that decision and never deserted us. Instead, he blessed us. 

We all have temptations to grow bitter. Yet we all can make the decision to take the high road. Which road will you travel? Wisdom finds the high road.

Wisdom Speaks Aptly

Jeanie Shaw

It happened to me yesterday and again today. In fact, few days go by without someone telling me something like this:

Wyndham believed in me, and his words gave me vision to see myself as God sees me, not how I see myself.  When I didn’t believe in myself, his directed and encouraging words (full of vision for me) changed my life.

They tell me what he said, when he said it, and how this has affected their lives.

Wisdom knows the power of words aptly spoken.

  A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.
Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man’s rebuke to a listening ear.
 Like the coolness of snow at harvest time is a trustworthy messenger to those who send him; he refreshes the spirit of his masters. (Proverbs 25:11-13)

While most of us can remember words that damaged, fortunately we also remember specific words that gave us courage to keep going and faith to believe what we couldn’t see. Words that reminded us of our value to God and to others.

I watch and learn as I hear Wyndham continually look into people’s eyes and offer them vision and hope for their lives. He tells them ways God can use them to make a difference in this world—and that they are needed. I hear him give loving correction when needed, yet these words also end with vision and hope.

I get busy—and must remind myself to have these conversations. I have good intentions and think these things about others, but thinking them and taking the time to express them are two different things. Truth is, these conversations take consideration and deliberateness. After awhile, they will more naturally flow from our mouths. When I take the time to think though who, when, and how to encourage, as the Scripture below states, it really does make a difference. I know it does for me.  I am motivated toward love and good deeds when I’m encouraged.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
  Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25-26)

This Scripture tells me I need to do this more and more! There is also more that’s needed than just “showing up” (though that’s a great start as we surely can’t have these conversations without being with each other). God wants us to encourage each other while meeting together!

So, beginning today, on this particular “Wednesday of Wisdom with Wyndham,” join me in being deliberate with someone—taking time to encourage them in a specific and meaningful way.  Not only will you be wiser, but these words aptly spoken may change a life for the better.  

Wisdom Listens Well Before Responding

by John IIames

The mouth of the righteous man utters wisdom, and his tongue speaks what is just.  Psalm 37:30

Over the years I have observed and been inspired by Wyndham’s impartiality with others, his wisdom of relying on the talents of both staff and non-staff to plant and water, and also his laughter and joy in both the mundane and the extraordinary.  

I observed early on in our marriage and while working with him in the ministry that Wyndham was a fair man. On one occasion, while gathering his family for some outing, his older daughter Melissa (probably early middle school to be fair to her) was undone by some issue (use of a cooler??) that from my viewpoint required him to tell her to deal with her attitude and get in the van. He spent time gathering the facts from her, dealt with her presentation, found that she had a very legitimate claim. He then promptly rectified the situation, and everyone went away satisfied. It is difficult for everyone to go away satisfied in any conflict, yet on many occasions, this was the result of his mitigation from a spiritual standpoint (Exodus 18:23…and all these people will go home satisfied).

I was most affected in my own character change by an observation which both Wyndham and Gordon Ferguson gleaned by spending time with my dad playing a few holes of golf. Through their interaction with my family they were able to gain real clarity on my interaction skills with others. Wyndham and Gordon were able to speak directly to what they saw, and to this day that feedback has changed my life significantly.

One fun thought of a shared experience with Wyndham. On one occasion Wyndham and I were driving to a Bible study in Fitchburg, Massachusetts, when he and I got pulled over by a Massachusetts State Trooper. As the Trooper approached the driver side of the mini-van, I made the mistake of asking Wyndham where his registration was located. In this particular car’s make and model the glove compartment was located under the passenger seat.

I reached under the seat to retrieve the document, only within seconds to have my door ripped open with the officer training his gun on both of us.  I still sort of laugh at the picture of both an elder and a minister standing at the front of the vehicle, hands on the hood, being searched while my Bible and papers were blowing outside on the pavement. I enjoyed laughing with him at the juxtaposition of our purpose and the purpose of that officer. BTW – Wyndham was not speeding, it was a random stop of vehicles matching his vehicle’s description for a crime committed in another county.  (Wisdom also keeps a cool head.)

These are just a few thoughts of how my friendship with Wyndham, and his sharing of his wisdom, has changed my life. I believe this has affected the character of my two boys and ultimately how they will raise their future children. Wisdom does that. It changes lives.

Though I love to honor my husband each Wednesday via nuggets of “Wisdom from Wyndham,” my prayer is that the words shared will help paint a vivid and personal picture of Godly wisdom expressed through actions and attitudes, I know that as I have observed such actions and attitudes first hand and have striven to incorporate them into my life–I have grown. I pray these bits of wisdom will enrich your life as well. Jim’s note (below) was written to Wyndham five years ago.

⁹  And this is my prayer, that your love may overflow more and more with knowledge and full insight
¹⁰  to help you to determine what is best, so that in the day of Christ you may be pure and blameless,
¹¹  having produced the harvest of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ for the glory and praise of God.  (Philippians 1:9-11 NRSV)

4 Characteristics of Wisdom

By Jim Blough

Wyndham, we have known you and your family for many years, but have gotten to know you better over the last ten years or so, first by working together when we were still in Northern Virginia, and even more so since we moved back to Boston six years ago.  There are several things that I appreciate about how you live your life as a disciple and as a leader in God’s church: 

1. Embracing the hard things.  Many of the times we have worked together have involved difficult situations—trying to help struggling Christians restore their faith and relationships, trying to balance conflicting priorities regarding missions and resources, and even trying to determine what God’s will is for my own life and family.  I have always appreciated that you never shrink from these kinds of challenges, but you willingly embrace them and give them your full heart and attention.  I admire and respect that.
2. A principle-based approach.  Not only do you embrace challenging situations, but I also appreciate how you start with principles when you try to make up your own mind or give direction to others.  Whether in a board meeting, a counseling appointment or a sermon, I find it refreshing that you continually look for godly, Biblical principles that are to guide and shape our decisions and our actions.  Those principles help to give me guidance and stability on my own journey, and I’m sure are helpful to many others as well.
3. Concern for the individual.  Especially since moving back to Boston, I have been impressed at how much time you and Jeanie spend getting together with individual disciples in the church who are in need.  One time I made a comment at a meeting, and several weeks later you approached me at church to see if we could get together and talk about it.  That showed me you had been thinking about what I said, and it was on your heart to get together and explore those comments further.  That’s the heart of a true shepherd.
4. The old and the new.  Finally, I appreciate how you have embraced the changes we have all been working on over the past ten years or so in our fellowship.  You believe strongly in collaboration, two-way communication and teamwork, yet you also remain committed to our founding principles of discipleship, commitment to Christ and his mission.  This reminds me of what Jesus said about “practicing the latter without neglecting the former.”  I appreciate that perspective that you bring to your life and leadership.

I could fill a daily blog for years with wisdom I have learned from Wyndham. However, I’ll stick with one day a week. Each Wednesday I will share wisdom gleaned, not just from me, but from our family who saw him day and night and from friends near and far whose lives he has touched.

Many of you have already told me you wish to share wisdom you learned from Wyndham. If you wish to contribute to this collection please email me at shaw.jeanie@gmail.com with the subject line—Wednesday Wisdom. If you wish to receive these blogs in your inbox, feel free to sign up to follow the blog.

I’ll look forward to meeting you here on Wednesdays. And if you would, please remember us in your prayers. It’s a privilege to have you in our lives.