Wisdom Finds the Stones

I just knew God was going to surprise me. I even told Him this as I pulled into the parking place at the ocean. I had not been to the ocean for many months and was eager to see it before the summer ended; so, I decided to would take the better part of a day to go on a spiritual retreat—just God and me. This was the day, thanks to Sam who worked from our house in order to stay with his dad.

I pulled into the parking lot adjacent to a special beach in Manchester-by-the-Sea; special because it’s the beach where Wyndham and I spent many Mondays walking and talking with God and each other. I was hesitant to go to this beach because going to “our” places for the first time alone can be difficult. Though we can no longer walk together, God still walks with me. (He sits with Wyndham.)

No one else was on the beach. This may have been due to red algae continually riding waves to the shore. Thankfully, red algae could not hinder my communion with my God, so I got out of the car. As soon as my feet hit the sand I noticed a perfectly stacked pile of rocks gracing my path. This pile was placed as the centerpiece of the short beach. Stones of remembrance. That’s what I saw.  I smiled, knowing they were there for me, a little hug from God.

Instead of sadness (which certainly happens), I felt joy. I looked at those stones (sans plaster) and remembered the times the Israelites were instructed to build stones of remembrance so that they would not forget the goodness of the Lord. I, too, remembered.

When you have crossed the Jordan into the land the LORD your God is giving you, set up some large stones and coat them with plaster.
  Write on them all the words of this law when you have crossed over to enter the land the LORD your God is giving you, a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you. (Deut 27:2-3)

God and I walked, talked, and sang together, hand in hand. At least that’s how it felt. God’s Spirit is like that. God envelops us if we let Him. I sang two songs repeatedly (words changed to match the venue):

I come to the ocean alone. While the sun shines bright and the waves roll.                      And the voice I hear, falling on my ear, the Son of God discloses.                              And, He walks with me and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own.                    And the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.

My God and I walk on the beach together.                                                                                    We walk and talk, as good friends should and do.                                                                        We clasp our hands, our voices ring with laughter.                                                                    My God and I walk on the sandy shore.

My God and I will go for ‘aye together.                                                                                        We’ll walk and talk, as good friends should and do.                                                                  This earth will pass, and with it common trifles.                                                                         But God and I will go unendingly.

Each time I walked past those stones of remembrance I felt renewed gratitude for the ways God has blessed me. I told Him some of the things I deeply appreciate including the love I feel inside my soul, the purpose I feel for my life, the joy that refreshes my heart, the clear conscience that gives my mind peace, and hope, which springs from the confidence I will never die (physically, yes; but, my body is not me). I felt (feel) thankful for the physical and spiritual family God has given me.

I felt (feel) thankful for the ways Wyndham inspires me. While living in his incapacitated body, he still focuses on God’s goodness to Him. He sees stones of remembrance. Because of this, he stays grateful, cheerful, and courageous.

After some hours, I turned to go back to the car feeling full and refreshed (another thing God does for me). Then, I noticed to my right and to my left many more stacked stones…as if they had multiplied. The more I gave thanks, the more things that there were to remember. 

Truthfully, nothing is more joy-filling, peace-inducing, and spirit-lifting than time alone with God. This comes from: remembering His mighty deeds (made known since the beginning of time); remembering the beauty of His creation: remembering that He is with me in the suffering, the trials, the waiting, and the unknown; and remembering He will not leave me. Truthfully, I  already experience eternity, even now. Eternity has already begun because eternity starts with knowing God (Jn 17:3).

When my physical body one day no longer accompanies my soul, my truest self will be unencumbered, experiencing the unimaginable “wonderful” which God has prepared. Everything good is in God’s presence. That’s the beauty of heaven…relationships of love, beginning with Him, and lasting forever.

When we keep our focus on the unseen (everything in God’s kingdom), we are sure to find all kinds of beauty and encouraging surprises God has prepared for us. Stones of remembrance will multiply.

WWW is taking a summer break. I look forward to signing on again later. Have a wonderful summer. Much love, Jeanie

Wisdom Knows a Thing is Just a Thing

A ring is just a thing. So are many other “things.” My close acquaintance with long term, terminal illness helps me distinguish between the value of physical things and spiritual things of the heart. I placed this wedding ring on Wyndham’s finger nearly 45 years ago. Amazingly, he never lost it through all his fishing, hunting, and sports adventures; however, recently he needed to lose it. His nurse was concerned because it was embedded in a swollen finger which she feared would become quite painful.

So, Melissa and I gathered butter, oil, dental floss, and various other YouTube “tricks of the trade” to try to slide it off. It would not budge, and the attempt to remove it was painful. Unwilling to be conquered by the stuck ring, she called a jewelry store that was located half a mile away to ask if they could help us. The owner was gracious and said he and his daughter would come to the house after he closed his shop. Around dinnertime, this man and his daughter came to the rescue with a ring cutter. At first, he did not think it would be possible but worked mightily while using his instrument to successfully cut the ring. Using pliers, he pulled it apart and slid it off Wyndham’s finger. I thought I might be sad, but instead, I was moved by this man’s graciousness. When I asked him what I owed him his reply was, “I did not come here to do business, I came because someone needed help.” I cried and gave him a big hug.

I was reminded of the beauty and grace in simple acts of kindness and determined to pay it forward. I didn’t feel sad, because the removal of the ring didn’t change anything—except the possibility of a soon-to-be-damaged finger. I remember words that Wyndham often said when something broke or was lost…” It’s just a thing.” Or, when we were met with an unexpected expense that we felt we couldn’t afford…” It’s just money.” And he meant it. A thing is just a thing. A thing has no lasting value.

Wisdom knows that physical things don’t last. Wisdom stores treasures in heaven.

 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.
  But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.
  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matt 6:19-21)

This past week several golden treasures came to visit— Two Sams and two Iiames. Friendships like these are not things, but true treasures. I often lay in bed at night and think of the treasures I possess. They are all relational.  Spiritual relationships, with God and each other, are what will last. What “thing” will last other than our relationship with God and with His sons and daughters (our brothers and sisters)? Nothing can take these away. Even when our physical bodies leave, for Christians, love, and relationships are eternal. And one day, we will also have new bodies. Now, that’s something to smile about. Of course, I grieve and cry many tears for aspects of the relationship I temporarily miss, but I find when I set my heart on things eternal my mood changes.

And, Wyndham’s wedding ring has a new home on our mantel that seems a fitting place. Every time I see it I think about what lasts, as well as the kind store owner who came because someone needed help.

Wisdom Never Walks Alone

I thought it would be a simple Nana/grandson fishing adventure. (That sentence, in itself, was amazing to write because I do not like fishing, so any fishing trip for me is not simple.) However, since Caleb was staying with us overnight while his parents were out of town and his sisters were elsewhere, I thought it would be fun to go to the nearby reservoir with him so he could fish. A wooded, scenic path leads to this reservoir—a sparkling lake where fish are known to live. We walked the path to a place that looked “fishy” to us, but they weren’t biting. He offered to let me throw some casts. I did, and promptly lost his lure when it hooked something big in the water which was not a fish. Line snapped. Fishing trip over.

It was a fun time with Caleb, though I was not prepared for a flood of emotions that filled me as we first entered the entrance to the path leading to the reservoir. As I first set foot on the path my eyes instinctively filled with tears. The emotions surprised me until it hit me that the last time I walked this path was when I was walking hand in hand with Wyndham. This was an oft-walked path for us; one where we would walk and pray. We would climb out on the rocks, often bringing our dogs, first Jordan and then Denver, after Jordan was gone. We would offer them endless fun retrieving tennis balls we would throw into the water. Many prayers were said, and memories made. Thus, the welling of emotions makes sense. Caleb was kind and understanding as I explained my sadness.

Since that day last week, I have spent some time meditating on the presence of God in my life. I am, in fact, never walking alone. God is so completely relational that somehow, he is one God who is also one with Jesus and the Spirit. I have spent hours contemplating the Trinity and have come away with two concrete thoughts: The nature of God is a dimension beyond human understanding, so I might as well just accept that I will never “figure it out,” but the Trinity shows us perfect relational love and unity. Since God is relational, and I am created in his image–I am relational, and his Spirit really does live in me, as it does every Christian. I am never alone. For real. God’s Spirit was always walking with us when we did walk together, and the Spirit never left. God’s Spirit is still with Wyndham and is still with me. Though I can’t walk and talk hand-in-hand with Wyndham anymore I will never walk alone, and neither will he.

Today, I felt the need to retrace my steps to walk and pray, and I felt a certain sense of peace that passes human understanding. Though I’d give anything to walk the path with him again, the solo adventures I am now more accustomed to consistently reassure me that the presence of God’s Spirit continually envelops me, walking with me because of its residence in my soul. Because of this, love always accompanies me. This is an amazing reality. I can sing this song by Austris A. Whithol:

My God and I go in the field together; We walk and talk as good friends should and do;

We clasp our hands, our voices ring with laughter; My God and I walk through the meadow’s hue…

My God and I will go for aye together; We’ll walk and talk just as good friends should and do; This earth will pass, and with it common trifles, But God and I will go unendingly.

Wisdom never walks alone. Wisdom was “walking with God” at the creation of the world. Wisdom can be an intimate friend.

  The LORD by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding he established the heavens; (Prov 3:19 ESV)

  Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call insight your intimate friend,… (Prov 7:4 ESV)

Wisdom Owns It

I remember as a child taking a job feeding my neighbors dogs for a few weeks while the neighbors were out of town. I probably remember this because they had me feed them bologna sandwiches for treats. I dutifully did the job, but it was a job. They were not my dogs. And they slobbered. A lot.  Then, when I was nine years old I got my own dog. I was thrilled to be the owner of a dog. This was different than feeding my neighbor’s dog. I named my dog. I played with my dog. I talked to my dog. He slept on the foot of my bed. I even wrote a poem about my dog. He was mine. I owned him

So it is with our spiritual life. If we don’t truly own it, it will feel more like a joyless job, often feeling like a mere routine? We certainly won’t thrill in it, write a poem about it, or delight in talking to God.

So what might keep us from owning our spiritual life? Routine? Neglect? Following rules rather than personal convictions? Pleasing people more than pleasing God? Having a “back door” for a possible exit? Perhaps these reasons point to our need to “work out our own salvation…” Sunday, Wyndham relayed a message about owning one’s spiritual life.

Sunday was a glorious day. Our teenage grandson made the decision to follow Jesus and was baptized into Christ. We now have a granddaughter/sister and a grandson/brother. Caleb wanted to be baptized in our hot tub in the back yard so that his Papa could be part of the wonderful occasion. We realized the day before that Sunday was also Wyndham’s 47^th spiritual birthday. He was baptized on June 2, 1972. It felt like a kiss from God to share this date.

Since Wyndham cannot speak clearly or loudly enough to share, he carefully expressed to me what he wished for me to share with Caleb on his behalf. Not surprisingly, the first scripture he wanted to share was one that has stayed close to his heart and guided his character since that day in June, 47 years ago.

The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. (1 Timothy 1:5)

He asked Caleb to strive for this love and to keep a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a genuine faith.

He then asked me to read 2 Timothy 4:6-8

 For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near.
  I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

It was hard to read this scripture through my tears because it feels so real and relevant. Wyndham has fought the good fight and is still fighting, perhaps in the most difficult way yet. Time for departure is nearer than we wish. He is, as described in a previous post, running “heartbreak hill.” Heartbreak hill is a long, hard stretch up a hill near the end of the Boston Marathon route. However, eternal life with God…. beyond description is waiting at the finish line. Now that’s someone and something to run to!

Wyndham asked me to tell Caleb, “It’s your race now!”

True words.

We must all own the race marked out for us. No one can run it for us. If we don’t own it, we won’t run it. At least not for long. And if we don’t own it, we will have no joy attempting the run.

Sometimes it takes times of reflection and prayer to internalize the true ownership of our race. Then, and only then can we keep running despite injury, fatigue, or course detours. The beautiful thing is that when we take ownership of our race we are carried along by loving arms of support and the breath of refreshment from he who runs alongside us, gives us refreshment, and picks us up when we fall. It’s my race. It’s your race. May we own it and run it wholeheartedly, never taking our eyes of the one who runs with us.

  Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Wisdom Transfers

Our son, Sam, just entered the smartphone world. He resisted for a long time, much to his entire family’s displeasure. He could not receive our family “group texts” or pictures. It was time to switch. Meanwhile, Wyndham’s phone sat on the windowsill. For part of Sam’s birthday gift, I suggested that he take Wyndham’s phone, keep it on our plan and pay the accompanying monthly charges. This seemed like a good idea, and it was. However, Sam would need a new number, which meant Wyndham’s number would disappear. Forever.  All I needed to do to make this change was to go online to my carrier and change the number. It would take less than five minutes to complete the task, but it actually took me three weeks to accomplish. The physical process was simple. The emotional one, I came to realize, was not so simple.

I can not begin to count the number of hours of conversations that took place between Wyndham and me on that phone. It served as a connector,  advisor, timing adjuster, grocery list reminder, expression of love and affection sender, as well as a picture sender to show each other a grandchild’s milestone or a big fish. As we often traveled in the car together, Wyndham and I would be on our phones in order to keep up with many responsibilities. I often reminded him that the physical phenomenon of sounds waves, cell towers, and various wondrous laws of physics would carry his voice—the loud volume of his voice was not needed to reach the person on the receiving end. I found it futile to attempt long conversations on my phone while he was on the line. His voice was too loud. However, I overheard so much encouragement given, so much counsel given…replete with inquiries to the tackle shop in Gloucester to find out if the stripers were biting. His phone made many calls to our kids, grandkids, and friends… sharing victories and defeats, joys and sorrows.

Wyndham hasn’t been able to use his phone for many months. His hands can’t hold it, and his voice is no longer strong enough to make conversation. It makes no sense for us to pay a monthly fee for a windowsill trinket. So, tonight I made the quick switch to change the phone number and officially transferred the phone from Wyndham to Sam. It seems such a simple and reasonable process, but somehow the reality didn’t feel that way. While his family was over for dinner celebrating Emery’s birthday. I handed Sam the phone, got up to put away the dishes from the dishwasher, and then unexpectedly felt the tears flow. Sam hugged me, understanding.

Funny thing though. Because of all the conversations, all the encouragement, all the instructions, all the love, all the laughter….I am confident the same sort of conversations will continue to happen on that phone. Conversations of encouragement, of love, of concern, of counsel, of laughter. I am quite sure, however, there will be no calls to the tackle shop, though perhaps there may be one or two to a golf course to set a tee time.

It’s actually okay—no, it’s more than okay—because this is what is supposed to happen.  Wisdom transfers. In fact, wisdom isn’t really wisdom if it is just stored in our heads. It’s simply knowledge then. Wisdom transfers knowledge into a heart of faith and applies it to and with another person. Wisdom must be transferred. Person to person. Generation to generation.

  And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others. (2 Tim. 2:2)

  You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone.
  You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. (2 Cor. 3:2-3)

  Now that I am old and gray, do not abandon me, O God. Let me proclaim your power to this new generation, your mighty miracles to all who come after me.
  Your righteousness, O God, reaches to the highest heavens. You have done such wonderful things. Who can compare with you, O God?
  You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. (Psalm 71:18-20 NLT)
 

I will sing of the LORD’s great love forever; with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through all generations. (Psalm 89:1)

So, never forget that all you do and say transfers to someone watching and listening. May the love of God in our hearts transfer to all we have the opportunity to encounter. God has, in a sense, transferred his number to us to extend to the world. We must simply make the calls.