This was the view out of my bathroom window last week.  It was a quick view, as I had to cut short my trip.  I held on to this picture in my mind, as the magnificence of this snow-covered mound of rock took my breath away.  Since this time I have thought of this image and several favorite scriptures about the solid rock which grounds me.

Psalm 18:2

    The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;

        my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.

        He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

 Psalm 27:5

For in the day of trouble

        he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

    he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle

        and set me high upon a rock.

 Psalm 61:2

    From the ends of the earth I call to you,

        I call as my heart grows faint;

        lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

While away I kept receiving concerning texts.  Tuesday my granddaughter fell and broke her arm.  Wednesday my grandson was rushed from the doctor’s office (via escorted ambulance) to the hospital with an extremely severe case of croup.  Thursday my daughter was taken from a doctor’s visit to a large downtown hospital via ambulance as she had begun labor at 32 weeks.  I found the next flight home, hoping I could make it before she delivered.  I felt so helpless, but yet connected to the one who not only places me on this rock but is also my refuge, deliverer, stronghold and shelter.  He is the one who is also able to move mountains.  I can not imagine going through life’s trials without this solid rock.  It would be as described in the scripture below – slimy, muddy and full of mire.

Psalm 40:2

    He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

        out of the mud and mire;

    he set my feet on a rock

        and gave me a firm place to stand.

I made it back before delivery.  The doctors were able to slow the progress and better prepare the lungs of little Grace.  I’m so grateful I’ve been able to help with my grandson.   Labor is still slowly progressing and my daughter will be hospitalized until delivery. Then will come the neonatal intensive care time.  Micah is much better, for which I’m very grateful.  I am sure that trials will always come.  Yesterday I wrenched my back and dislocated three ribs, but thankfully the chiropractor put them back in place.   Would have liked to have done without that, but my God gives me a firm place to stand.   Sometimes I feel like I slip and lose my footing, but then He grounds me again. I’m so grateful for my solid rock.

As you may have noticed I’ve been away from home this week.  The day before we left my friend, Vanessa, who lives with us pointed out a few small, yellow, worm-like caterpillars on the kitchen ceiling. Disgusted with their presence, and being a bit of a neat-freak about keeping the kitchen clean and tidy, I climbed on top of the counter with a tissue and carefully “smushed” the “things.”  A few days prior we had noticed some very small moths flying around the kitchen so surmised that these were related to the moths. The weather had been warmer than usual, so we figured it was just some kind of weird phenomenon that would last for the day.  A few days ago (still out of the country) I received this facebook message from Vanessa:

Jeanie!! the worms/maggets/larvae… whatever they are… took over the kitchen!! I must’ve killed like 100 over the course of yesterday… it was so gross. but then it got worse. I started pulling food out of the pantry today to try to find out where they were coming from… and they were inside the cereal boxes… and tons of other things!! AHHHH! I was freaking out. I pulled out everything and found thousands of the larvae on the very bottom of the pantry… I thought I was going to throw up… so gross. I’ll probably have nightmares tonight. Anyway… I think I got it mostly cleaned up – we shall see. I keep feeling like I have worms crawling on me. I threw a lot of the cereal away (most of them were almost gone anyway) because they had gotten inside the boxes and then were hatching moths. Ug… I could never be an exterminator!!

Anyway… just thought I’d share that with you! Hope you guys are doing well!!

My response:

• oh nooooo. I’m so sorry. Just got this message! That is absolutely disgusting! I wonder how this happens. I’d like to call them baby moth caterpillers. It sounds way better than maggots. I have to say…as gross as this is your message makes me laugh just a little. Forgive me
• actually…I laughed out loud…

Vanesa:   hahaha…. well, I’m glad that it made you laugh!!  just call me the Caterpillar Killer!!

This disgusting turn of events made me wonder if I had consumed any of this “contaminated” cereal.  This certainly gives new meaning to “butterflies in my stomach”.  It also reminded me of two scriptures.  The first is Mark 7:20-23

    He went on: “What comes out of a man is what makes him ‘unclean.’ [21] For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, [22] greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. [23] All these evils come from inside and make a man ‘unclean.’ ”

The second is Hebrews 12:15

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

This little moth adventure is a reminder to me that unless I deal with the source of something it will keep coming back!  Whacking the moths became a futile exercise.  The sources, in the pantry, in the cereal boxes and below had to be completely removed!  Will I (we) allow any bits of unforgiveness, greed, deceit,… to dig into the corners of our hearts like the moth larvae did in the cereal boxes of my pantry?  If so, the moths..and the sins will keep coming. I want to pray as David did,

Psalm 139:1-4

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

    O Lord, you have searched me

        and you know me.

    [2] You know when I sit and when I rise;

        you perceive my thoughts from afar.

    [3] You discern my going out and my lying down;

        you are familiar with all my ways.

    [4] Before a word is on my tongue

        you know it completely, O Lord.

23-24

    Search me, O God, and know my heart;

        test me and know my anxious thoughts.

    [24] See if there is any offensive way in me,

        and lead me in the way everlasting.

My daughters and I talk on the phone at least once a day.  I love talking with them.  We talk about fun things with the kids, hard things, simple things as well as deep things in our hearts.  We laugh, cry, or just enjoy each others company. It’s important to us to stay connected. Several days ago I didn’t hear from my oldest daughter, Melissa, for a day or two.  I called her the next day and we had a great conversation.  The next evening she called me on my husband’s phone and remarked how impossible it had been for her to reach me during the last few days.  She had left messages and even sent texts…. No response. Meanwhile,  I had received none.  I couldn’t understand, as I was receiving plenty of calls from others….just not from her.  She tried again immediately after our conversation to no avail.  My phone showed no acknowledgement of her call. I contacted my cell phone carrier customer service department and inquired as to the problem.  As the representative walked me through “smart phone for dummies” issues I went to my phone’s contact card for my daughter.  The problem was clear.  Somewhere along the way I must have accidentally touched the phone at this setting and inadvertently checked “block caller”. I was so grateful for the representative who showed me how to fix this problem. I called Melissa and we had a good laugh about the experience.  I’m freely receiving communication from her once again.

This experience caused me to think about the value of free flowing communication.  It felt terrible and  so sad to think that her communication to me was blocked.  I thought about and reread several scriptures — one in the Old Testament, one in the Gospels, and one in the letters.  These are poignant scriptures, and ones I can’t forget.  Amidst God’s compassion and tenderness I mustn’t forget his Holiness.  These scriptures help give me the right kind of “fear of God” combined with his love and tenderness.  They also renew my conviction of the deep need for my whole-hearted participation in our God given “ministry or reconciliation.” (2 Cor. 5:18-19)

Isaiah 59:1-2
Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save,
        nor his ear too dull to hear.
    [2] But your iniquities have separated
        you from your God;
    your sins have hidden his face from you,
        so that he will not hear.

Mark 15:34
And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”–which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”

Ephes. 4:17-18
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. [18] They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts.

Sin has consequences.  Un-repented of and unforgiven sins block our “calls” to God.  This truth hit my heart deeply with the painful thought of what it would be like to have my daughter’s calls blocked for real, on purpose. I realize, through other scriptures how deeply eager and ready God  is to “unblock” those calls for us.  The cost of the cross shouts this desire as loudly as possible.  The separation grieves him.  But God’s holiness, and the cost he paid for our sin demands it.    The access to “unblocked calls” is up to us.  He provided the means for free flowing access and is always eager to keep the lines open.  I’m so grateful he does that for me.  May I (and we) keep the calls “unblocked” by our pursuit of holiness and may I (and we) be the “representatives” that help others find the key to unblocking the calls.

Yes, that’s right.  My neighborhood had an exhibitionist.  We found out because of my afternoon skate-boarding adventure.  Those of you who read My Morning Cup will not be surprised to hear of this experience. .. it sort of goes with the flow.

As a preteen, or perhaps young teen (it was a long time ago; can’t remember my age at the time) I wanted to learn to skateboard.   Back then, the devices used were called “turfboards” and most were handmade. I persuaded my dad to make me one.  He took a plank of wood (which I painted and decorated), and then he lovingly attached skate wheels to the bottom of the board.  Voila!- my wonderful turfboard. I discovered that the best place to practice was in our neighbor’s driveway, across from the pond that was in our back yard.  So, one afternoon I took my new board and practiced my “moves” over and over again.  As I was walking back up my neighbor’s driveway and facing the house across the street a man was standing outstretched in front of the picture window – in all his glory (or lack thereof).  I had 3 sisters.  This was a man.  This view scared the bejeebies out of me (def.  bejeebies –  emotions laying inside of you that when activated  cause“freak-out”)

I did not “stop to pass go”.  I ran, ran and ran.  I told my mother what I’d just witnessed, and she then reported it to the police.  I have no idea what happened after that.  I just know I never practiced in that driveway again, or walked down that street alone.

I’ve been thinking about doing some running and remembered this experience where I ran to purposely to get away from something!  Yesterday I did some running in order to get to get to the bank before it closed as I had parked on the complete opposite side of the mall from the bank.  I decided to read some scriptures about  “running”.   Here are a few that strengthen and challenge me about  running “toward” and running “from”:

    Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 1 Cor. 9:24

    Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.  No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. 1 Cor. 9:26-27

    Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1

    Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.  2 Tim. 2:22

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  James 4:7

 I ran hard to get away from the exhibitionist. Ask yourself as I ask myself:  How hard do I run from things that aren’t good for me or that will distance me from God?

I ran hard to get to the bank before it closed.  Ask yourself as I ask myself:  How eagerly and purposefully will I run toward God and His will for my life today?

Children and teens go back to school each year.  So do I.  It seems there’s always a new “class” I’m taking, like it or not.  However, the beautiful thing is that my teacher is perfect.  He expects my best – but he genuinely loves me and stays with me to continually tutor me.  It’s like having an “open book” with me at all times.  I just have to make sure I open it and listen to it.  Psalm 25:4-5

    Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths;

    guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior,

    and my hope is in you all day long.

I’ve spent more time than usual in hospitals and hospices lately.  It’s been good for me but I haven’t particularly liked it.  Hospitals make me feel uncomfortable.   Just the smell, (which isn’t bad but is distinct) brings memories of pain.  Some are personal and some are from the pain of others.  The memories include feelings of fear mixed with uncertainty.  Every time I see someone walking the halls I feel some angst about burdens they must be carrying.  I don’t think I’m  “good at hospitals.”  My first real encounter was as a patient after a bike wreck.  I went home and fully recovered.   My roommate didn’t recover and never made it home.

Later, as a young teen, I went to the hospital as a Candy Striper.  Candy Stripers wore pink and white jumpers and did “odd jobs”.  I quickly learned I was not meant to be in the medical profession.  My first assignment was to fill the patients’ water bottles with ice.  I scurried down the hall while completing my task when a patient with an inquisitive tone made the comment, “This gives ‘on the rocks’ an entirely new meaning.”  I had no idea what he was talking about until he explained that I had just filled all of the urinals with ice.

Other encounters  in hospitals have included emergency rooms, surgeries, living births and still births, deaths…waiting and waiting — Joyful times and tearful times.

I’ve learned a lot over the past few weeks.  I’m reminded again of the mortality of our flesh.  I’m reminded of the need for tender compassion.   I’m reminded that many things in life are not comfortable, but they are needed.  I’m reminded of the urgency in gaining a right relationship with God.

As I boarded a plane (to join my husband as he was with his dad) and waited for take-off I watched as a mom and her adult daughter exchanged hateful words and angry stares with each other.  I heard a woman behind me cursing and expressing hatred for her former companion.   I was reminded of the black hole of bitterness that Satan plans for us as opposed to the sweet unity that God desires.  I was grateful for the way of escape that he so generously offers us.

Going to school is not always easy, but having a perfect teacher makes it all good.

Psalm 86:11

    Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth;

    give me an undivided heart,  that I may fear your name.

Psalm 90:12

    Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 119:66

    Teach me knowledge and good judgment, for I believe in your commands.

Psalm 119:68

    You are good, and what you do is good;  teach me your decrees.

Psalm 119:71

    It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees.

 Psalm 119:73

    Your hands made me and formed me;  give me understanding to learn your commands.

We buried my father-in-law Saturday.  He was our last living parent.  It was a difficult few weeks for the family as his life left his physical body.  I felt honored to be there as he breathed his last breath.  He passed peacefully, and was appropriately honored.  I will miss him.

Often when we go through difficult times it seems to completely sap our energy.  We returned home Sunday –completely exhausted and a bit numb.  It seemed hard to re-engage in activity here, though we knew we soon needed to do so.  I realized it’s also been a while since I’ve written or wanted to write.  I felt the reality of a little anecdote I once read.  Can’t think. Brain dumb.  Inspiration won’t come.  Poor ink, bum pen.  Best wishes. Amen  …  Just felt I didn’t have a lot to give at the time.

I went to my Bible, where I knew I could regain focus.   I was reading from the book of John and this scripture ministered to me.   During times when you may feel a bit empty, I hope it will encourage you as well.  John 2:1-10 

    On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, [2] and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. [3] When the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”

    [4] “Dear woman, why do you involve me?” Jesus replied. “My time has not yet come.”

    [5] His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.”

    [6] Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.

    [7] Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water”; so they filled them to the brim.

    [8] Then he told them, “Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet.”

    They did so, [9] and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside [10] and said, “Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now.”

I realize that I have felt sort of like an empty stone water jar.  So I took the lesson from Mary, Jesus’ mother and asked Jesus to be involved.  I asked him to refill my jar-= spiritually.  Though the jars Jesus filled began with nothing and were then filled with water,  he turned that water into the finest of wines….his first miracle.  I have often felt that resurgence of his presence in my heart through his Spirit.   I delved into his Word and  asked him for the energy that he powerfully inspires within me as I try to do His will.  He promises it.  He delivers.  I am so grateful!

²⁸ It is he whom we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone in all wisdom, so that we may present everyone mature in Christ. ²⁹ For this I toil and struggle with all the energy that he powerfully inspires within me. Col 1:28-29 (NRSV)

Just fed my dogs.  This is a routine my husband and I share every morning.  Our dogs never cease to thrill at this very predictable routine. Jordan, our 14-year-old Golden Retriever, has always been fed in the basement, where we keep his giant tub of food.  (No worries dog lovers…he owns the rest of the house.)  Lately, his arthritic hips make it difficult for him to maneuver stairs — so we began feeding him upstairs.

Occasionally, on days like today, he forgets this “new routine” and in his eagerness scurries downstairs to eat.  Then, after eating, he barks and barks again, not thinking he can make it back up the stairs. (Yes, I know his thoughts.)  I just heard him bark, and so stood in the doorway where he could see me.  When he feels he can’t make the climb, all he needs is for me to look at him and tell him I’m here and that he can do it. That’s all.  A few times, I’ve had to go down and walk with him, but most of the time an encouraging word is all he needs to muster the strength to do something he doesn’t think he can do. And it’s not in the words I say, since he can’t hear anymore.  It’s just that I’m there and care.

I realize I can at time be like Jordan, barking about something I think I can’t do.  Jordan reminds me I need to always look for ways to encourage people.  Their “barking” may mean they need some encouragement.  At least it’s worth a try.

I told him he was a great dog and that he could do it.  He quit barking, looked at the stairs  and came right up as if he was a few years younger.

The Scriptures are full of messages on encouragement.  I’ll share two of my favorite from the Old Testament and two from the New Testament.

Psalm 10:17
You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted;
        you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,

Isaiah 1:17
  learn to do right!
    Seek justice,
        encourage the oppressed.
    Defend the cause of the fatherless,
        plead the case of the widow.

Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

Hebrews 10:25
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

It takes courage to live a life pleasing to God.  I’m reminded of the encouragement I need to have, and the encouragement I need to give.

Wyndham and I were on a prayer walk this morning.  Feeling a lot with the near-at-hand loss of his dad, we felt the urgent need to pray. Since we are near an ocean, we went there.  As we were praying, the waves were particularly high and loud.  As I watched the waves crest, I focused on the curl inside of the wave and many memories flooded my mind. 

I hold a treasured memory, as a young girl, of riding the waves with my dad.  Having grown up on an island, Dad spent a lot of time in the water.  He taught me to ride the waves, which I loved doing. I still enjoy it. I remember the lessons he taught as he showed me how to find the “sweet spot” in the curl of the wave. He reminded me to keep my hands outstretched as I got caught up in the curl — and to allow the power of the wave to take me to shore.  If I got in at just the right place, one wave could take me all the way to the shore.  He had this down to a “fine art”.  I was amazed at how far the waves would take him… as the sand would scrape his stomach.

As I stood there watching the waves, and remembering my dad, I was struck by two things.  One was the bigness of God compared to my insignificance… and yet somehow God thinks I am significant.  As I stood there feeling so small, I remembered Psalm 8:3-5
When I consider your heavens,
        the work of your fingers,
    the moon and the stars,
        which you have set in place,
    [4] what is man that you are mindful of him,
        the son of man that you care for him?
    [5] You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings
        and crowned him with glory and honor.
Just then, several small birds flew overhead, reminding me of the significance God places on me.  It seems unfathomable.   Matthew 10:29-31
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. [30] And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. [31] So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

Feeling the sorrow of losing my father-in-law brought me back to the times with my dad.  In my mind’s eye, again I could picture the exuberant rush in catching the power of the wave and being carried in by its power.  I could almost feel the water rushing over my head and beside me, forcing me toward the shore — all the while tucked into the power of the curl.  That, to me, is what it feels like to be tucked inside of the shadow of God’s arms.

Psalm 36:5-7
Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens,
        your faithfulness to the skies.
    [6] Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
        your justice like the great deep.
    O Lord, you preserve both man and beast.
        [7] How priceless is your unfailing love!
    Both high and low among men
        find refuge in the shadow of your wings.

The following Psalm describes well, to me, the power of God as can be felt in the curl of the wave.  I want to know him, continue to feel the protection of his arms — and to know and reflect his mighty power!

Psalm 93:3-5
The seas have lifted up, O Lord,
        the seas have lifted up their voice;
        the seas have lifted up their pounding waves.
    [4] Mightier than the thunder of the great waters,
        mightier than the breakers of the sea–
        the Lord on high is mighty.
  [5] Your statutes stand firm;
        holiness adorns your house
        for endless days, O Lord.