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6 Spiritual Drippings from an Ice Cream Cone

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Who knew I’d grow deeper with God through ice cream?

Wanting to make sure my words are helpful and true, I’ve felt the need to do plenty of “research” over the past few months.  So, a couple of times a week I have forced myself to dig deeper into these thoughts through first-hand (to mouth) experience at my favorite ice cream joint—Bedford Farms.

The conclusion?

Six ways to grow deeper with God learned through ice cream:

  1. Any time is right for ice cream. There is no “right time” to get ice cream.  It enriches any time of day, in my opinion. Yes, I’m a firm believer in eating healthy, but life needs ice-cream.  I’ve had it for dessert and I’ll confess—also for dinner.  Either way, any time… it’s good. 0925101606b- lexi and ice cream

Often we are tempted to designate certain appropriate times as the times to grow with God.  While these times do need to be set aside (such as devoted times of prayer, time to meet with the church), we can continue to grow with God any time throughout the day and night.  Do you desire to pray, to meditate and learn, to read/remember and reflect on God’s word throughout the day in “undesignated” times such as a work break, driving in the car, in a line (queue), or even occasionally instead of dinner?

  1. Choose what is best. Bedford Farms offers many choices.  Most of them are good options. However, I’ve settled on the one I believe is best and it makes life easier.  My decision has been made before I get to the window.  (“I’ll have a kid’s cone of coffee heath bar yogurt, please”)There are few occasions I will vary from my first choice, and they are carefully considered and weighed beforehand.

Life is full of choices.  Indecision can cause great angst.  At times we can become paralyzed from the choices around us. Other times we tend to follow the “shiny, luring, pleasing to the senses” choices which may be distracting to our relationship with God at best—and sinful at worst.  Take time to consider and weigh your decisions based on how they will affect you and others spiritually? What would Jesus do here?  What will help me and my family grow? What will be most helpful to show Jesus in me to others? When you use these types of factors in your decision making—once you get to the place where it’s “time to order” you will know what to choose.

  1. Forego the “jimmies”. Don’t get me wrong.  Occasional “jimmies” are good.  (For those who may be reading this outside of the boundaries of New England, “jimmies” are those little brown chocolate sprinkles that are used to coat ice cream.  However, “jimmies”, in my opinion, only distract from the integrity of the taste of my ice cream.

Ahhh…where do I begin with the subject of distractions? My point is simple.  We can have so many “accessories”  to our lives that we never actually get around to consistently opening the Bible and letting God speak to us, and then pouring out our hearts to him.  We (and by “we” I mean “I”) can even become so distracted with tasks as we spend time with other Christians, that we fail to connect and truly know each other in a deep and honest way. Do you have several people in your life who know the real you, and together you help each other grow closer to God?  Does your life reflect Jesus to others, or does it merely reflect activity? 20150728_130252

  1. Find an appropriate setting. I don’t want to eat my cone in a rush—or while distracted with a phone conversation or any conversational topic other than how good the ice cream tastes.  I want to be able to focus on the “task at/in hand”. Otherwise, my ice cream is suddenly gone and I’ve missed the joy of it all.

Finding as undistracted a time and setting as possible with which to spend some special time with God makes a difference.  Do you miss the joy and pleasure of being in the presence of God because distractions are all around? Try spending time without electronics in the background, outside, early in the morning or late at night…or if you wake up in the middle of the night.  Settle your heart with song or meditation as you spend some undistracted, special time with God.

  1. The “Stillness of the Lick” is sort of sacred. Call me crazy, but there is something soothing and relaxing about licking an ice cream cone. That’s why I will never order a cup—only a cone will do.  There seems almost an artistic and poetic plot to the process of licking an ice cream (or frozen yogurt) cone—catching the drips and making sure the licks on one side don’t mismatch with the other side, all the while twirling and twisting the cone with the appropriate rhythm. The combination of taste, touch, sight and sound adds to the entire “sacred” experience and relationship to my cone.  Ok, I’m feeling vulnerable.  Am I the only one who feels this way?

I’ve had to learn and grow in my walk with God to truly understand that spending special time with him is not only a time I need, but one we both desire.  That is crazy amazing, that God wants to spend time with me!  Without this understanding, time with him can simply be a “good task that needs to be done”—sort of like the difference between having dinner with a trusted, deeply loving and loved friend (who also happens to be the creator of the universe)  and in exercising and getting homework done.  While at times for times with God I need the same kind of self-discipline needed  to exercise consistently— it’s when I am truly aware of my connection with my Father who loves me that I feel full of peace and joy.

  1. The paper will meet the cone. This is the moment where I see that there is no longer a mound of ice cream to lick and the remainder is hidden in the cone.  At this point, with the cones I use, I must peel back the paper that lines the cone. When it’s time to peel paper, I know that this wonderful experience will be “gone too soon” and I begin to feel a little sad.   However, the serendipity is that this is the point where all flavors and textures combine. It’s the best part of all. 20150518_191210

I am reminded that if I don’t live each stage of life to the fullest—with gratitude for what it brings, I will think too much about what has been or when it will all be over. Neither of these viewpoints are productive, but they do keep me coming back for more.  The ice cream cone ends at some point (pun intended), yet  I’m so very grateful that God’s love is new every morning, and the best is yet to come.

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.   (Lamentations 3:21-26)

 

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)

One Shoe and the Queen

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Last night, wearing one shoe, I spoke with the queen.20150703_200651

I was on my way home from a concert when somewhere in the shuffle of the crowd—I lost a shoe. I kept walking and ended up in a meadow overlooking the most beautiful expanse of water and forest I had ever seen. I sat down in order to capture the sight in my head. I never wanted to forget such a stunning place.

Breaking my solitude, an older woman appeared seemingly out of nowhere and sat down in the cool grass beside me.  A crown encircled her carefully tressed locks, and wisdom exuded from her eyes. Who was this extraordinary woman, I wondered.

I was trying to make sense of this whole dream-like situation when the tiara clad woman spoke to me. Clearly, she had a British accent. Upon closer study of her face I realized…Oh my word…

Yep, this was the Queen of England speaking to me–the peasant with one shoe.

What could I say to the Queen of England?  Nothing seemed fitting. What seemed like an eternity of silence followed. No appropriate conversation came to mind.

So, after an uncomfortable silence, I simply asked her if she knew the king. She looked confused.  I asked her if she would she like to join me in talking with him–that is–the King of Kings. I told her about my Savior, my Wonderful Counselor, my Almighty God, my Everlasting Father… my friend–and how much I loved talking with him. I looked up and began to pray. Her look portrayed her confusion, but as I was praying I noticed that her eyes filled with tears.

Maybe she was beginning to realize that the King of Kings to whom I was speaking was actually God Almighty…and that perhaps there was something more to “religion” than mere tradition. Her tears began flowing and her eyes filled with hope. I was guessing she was imagining that perhaps she could have a meaningful relationship with her creator, who was also my creator.

I truly did have something to offer her. Even wearing one shoe.

And then I woke up.

I’m not sure which part of this dream seems more strange to me. The concert? The queen?  The last concert I attended was several years ago with saxaphone crooning Kenny G.  And I have recently read about Kate Middleton, but seldom think about the Queen of England.

However, it is not strange to know that the grace given to me is something worth sharing–and something everyone needs. I reflected on Psalm 4:7-8

You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

Truly, the spiritual blessings from God far outweigh anything money or prestige can ever buy. I may have one shoe, no shoes, or a crown on my head. But in the end, the only thing that matters is my relationship with God.

What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? Matthew 16:26

Legacy of Love

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A worn and underlined Bible, pages nearly transparent. Two signs that once proudly stood  displayed atop a large work desk. These are treasured mementos—gathered from familiar belongings my dad left behind. They’re treasured, because they represent his way of life.  Whenever I think of dad, I smile and feel overwhelming gratitude well up from the depths of my soul.20150620_180619

I know I was blessed to have such a dad.  I am all too aware that not everyone has or had that experience. I don’t know why I was recipient to this blessing—I only pray I can somehow carry on a portion of the legacy dad left. His love spread well beyond his physical family, as he was a “spiritual dad” to numerous men and women who never had the opportunity to experience a dad, or who experienced a dad who was far from a reflection of God’s love.

My dad’s earthly father was an alcoholic and quite absent in his life. Dad learned to be the kind of dad he was as a result of the love he learned from his Heavenly Father—the one who will never leave us and who treats us not as we deserve, but with grace and truth, gentleness and strength. A God who loves so much he gave everything for us, notwithstanding his only son.

I pray that all who have missing or difficult experiences with an earthly father can know this amazing God—the perfect father.

The presence of God was evident in my dad’s joy, in the words echoing from his booming voice, in his hugs, in his teaching and his expectation, in his humility, compassion, integrity, generosity, and though his faithful outlook. Jesus’ reflection was shown to me through his life as I saw him take time in prayer and in the Word; as I saw him lovingly initiate and interact with others; as I saw his generosity and conviction that “you can never out-give God”;  as he led our family in devotional thoughts at the dinner table; as tears welled in his eyes as he sang songs such as “He is My Everything”; and as he dearly loved the church, his spiritual family. Every time the church met together my Dad, along with his wife and four girls were present. And he wasn’t just there…the church was alive and precious to him—he was there to give. He was usually the last to leave the fellowship

While the title of his occupation was Dean of Admissions at the University of Florida and his community leadership was significant—that part of his life paled in comparison to his “preoccupation” of loving and serving the living Jesus. Jesus’ death and resurrection first changed his life when he was baptized into that death, burial and resurrection at age sixteen—and was given forgiveness, God’s Spirit, and the promise of eternal life. It continued to affect his life every day thereafter in the way he thought and lived. It continues to affect him today, as he has since transferred to “the other side” of eternal life.

Over eleven years ago I received that dreaded call—informing me that my dad, who lived in Florida, was near death.  He wanted to talk with me. As he got on the phone he told me that he was going home and wanted to tell me he loved me. Through tears I told him ways I loved and appreciated him and was grateful that we had him as long as we did. I was sure Jesus would be quite eager to take him home. I quickly boarded a plane and made it to him before he passed to the other side of eternity.  The scripture became more real to me than ever before:

I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies, and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. (John 11:25)

 Whatever form paradise takes while waiting for Jesus’ return (that day when the dead in Christ will rise and be rewarded with heaven)…I am grateful for the hope and assurance this resurrection brings. For without it, there is no hope.

As I had the privilege to be with Dad as he passed from life through physical death to “after life” two things in particular grabbed my heart.

First, as my sisters and I were with him at the end, I realized that the bond that united us was our common and deep love for our dad. Anything we could find to do to serve him—giving a backrub, a sip of water, even holding a vomit bucket…felt like an incredible privilege. I realize this is the same unity that springs from our commonality as children of God. When we understand the depth of love we have been given, returning that love in any form is a joy and privilege. Serving together draws us closer to each other.

Is this your current experience as you eagerly “love back” our Father—joyfully serving side by side with your spiritual brothers and sisters?

Secondly, I felt more keenly aware of the shortness of even a long life.  Our time here on earth is indeed a mist—and the hope and assurance of eternal life means everything. As my Dad’s physical life slipped away, I kissed him and simply said through tears and smiles, “I love you Daddy… and I’ll see you later.” As my oldest sister, quite the dramatic one, came into the room immediately after his death she ran over to him exclaiming, “You did it Dad! You did it! This is what you lived for and you made it!!”

Truly the scripture, “For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day–and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” (2 Timothy 4:6-8) culminated for him right in front of my eyes. That good fight was lived out in front of me and many others throughout the preceding years.

I loved the words my oldest niece, his oldest grandchild, penned about my dad: ”Growing up with a truly grand daddy was to have a taste of God’s love for us in human form.  For only such a man who loved God above all else would be able to shower such affection mixed with high standards and expectations in a way to make us feel safe, secure, and adored…”

And as for me, I know all this is possible only because my Jesus not only died for me, but God also raised him from the dead…so that “to live is Christ, to die is gain.”(Php 1:21)

Woman on Fire

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I smelled something funny and realized it was me—on fire. I’ve only literally been on fire three times.  The first was as a bridesmaid when my sleeve came too close to a candelabra.  Fortunately, the sleeve sizzled a bit…but the flame just sort of melted the fabric. I’m grateful, as this could have been quite the distraction if I’d had to start rolling down the aisle.

The second time happened when I was blowing out birthday candles…and forgot to pull back my hair. (Singed a few that day—one of the hazards of aging and more candles).

The third was (spoiler alert: Not for the faint of stomach) when I had a tubal ligation while under local anesthesia and inquired about the source of “that burning smell”—only to be told it was part of my anatomy. Special. Actually, I suppose my catheter ablation from a few years ago would qualify as a fourth “inner fire” experience.

So, Saturday night while at a concert listening to a song my friend Amy Black wrote (and sang) entitled “Woman on Fire”—the title caught my attention. While the song was actually about a swooning Elvis Presley fan, as I brought this thought into the spiritual realm I asked myself if I was (am), in fact, a woman on fire.

Ask yourself, along with me:

Do I live my life (yes, even doing good and right things) just habitually? Or do I live it with passion in my soul?

Do I look forward (in eager and faithful expectation) to seeing God work in ways that are beyond what I dare ask and imagine?
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,
to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Eph. 3:20-21)

And speaking of this, what exactly do I ask…and imagine—not to mention DARE to ask or imagine?

And, do those around me feel the heat (or see evidence of my faith)?

I’m reminded of a scripture that speaks to these questions.  A scripture written to Christians:

“To the angel of the church in Laodicea write: These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation.
I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!
So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” Rev. 3:14-16

Yikes. What a challenging scripture.

I pray to be more and more a “woman on fire”.  I can too easily cool off.

So, how can we “catch on fire” spiritually?

  1. Stand close to the flame:  Just like my sleeve, I’ve got to stand close to the flame. If I don’t spend time with God, there is no way I can become or stay passionate and faithful. (2 Tim. 1:5-9)
  1. Don’t pull back: My hair caught fire because I didn’t carefully pull it back.  Likewise, I’ll catch fire if I don’t pull back my heart and my faith. And that’s a fire I need. It’s all too easy to become careful, safe, and comfortable—pulling back our hearts.  I must continually overcome fear and step out in new areas of faith to be a “woman on fire”. (Matthew 22:37-40)
  1. Let the Spirit’s fire penetrate and refine: Like the experience with my tubal and my heart cauterization, I must do more than “watch” the fire. I’ve got to let it go deep into my soul, allowing it to transform me. There will likely be fear and some pain for this to happen…but it’s necessary for growth.  (1 Peter 1:3-9)

How desperately we need to be fueled by the Spirit of God— and how desperately the world needs to see our fire.0001-27341311

There is a candle in every soul, some brightly burning, some dark and cold

There is a Spirit who brings a fire

Ignites his candle and makes His home…

So carry your candle, run to the darkness, seek out the helpless, confused and torn

Hold out your candle, for all to see it

Take your candle, and go light your world.

…Cause we’re a family whose hearts are blazing, So let’s raise our candles and light up the sky

Praying to our Father, in the name of Jesus

Make us a beacon, in darkest times.   (from Go Light Your World by Chris Rice)

5 Dangers of Social Media Quicksand

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You’ve heard of quicksand, right? It looks the same as other sand, but once you step on it you are drawn into the earth…sucked down toward the core. The more you wiggle, the deeper you sink–as it takes you down with its miry grasp.

Yes, this can also happen with social media. It can capture you quicker than you might think. Personally, I enjoy social media and I like to think I use it well. That is, when I’m not stuck in the quicksand. And to be honest, I’ve been there too many times.

So, how do we know when we’re sinking? What types of quicksand can trap us?

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1. Compassion Quicksand:

Let’s face it. We are human and can only hold a certain number of troubling situations in our hearts before we overload. When I overload I can experience “prayer freeze”. The needs seem so overwhelming at times I don’t know where to begin.

I have too often been overly burdened by following heart wrenching stories on social media about people I don’t know. When my emotions become so involved with those outside of my sphere of influence–I can think I’m exercising compassion, but if I end up without the time and emotional bandwidth to attend to and focus on the actual needs of those right around me—those  I can touch with words of encouragement, visits, prayers, meals, etc.–then I’ve let social media sadness become a hindrance to true compassion.

It’s easy to step into this quicksand with the best of intentions, but before you get emotionally involved, think it through. Pray and give it to God or contribute and give it to God…or both—but don’t carry it to the point you use up your emotional energy on those you can’t touch more personally. Thankfully God is big enough to hear it all, and loving enough to care deeply.

2. “Always Available” Quicksand:

There is something “addictive” about social media.  I’ve had to deliberately decide to avoid the cyber-world until after I spend time with my God in the spiritual world. Only then can I choose the most needed priorities for my day and avoid getting dragged into social media’s never-ending chase for chatter.  Loud chatter—the little “ding” when a message comes, or when a status updates, or a new photo is posted. The ding screams for me to check my phone or computer right now.  After all, what if it’s a message from a loved one who is stuck on a desert road without water? Or in a stand-off with aliens? They’ll need me! NOW.

When I’m always available for social media it seeks to own me and continually screams for my attention. In fact, it’s screaming now. (I will not look, I will not look.)

As I write this sentence I’m distracted by a stack of receipts on the desk to  my left. They need to be scanned and recorded in a spreadsheet made for business expenses. Oh, the details of life. Unfortunately, this stack has been there for several days (ahem…weeks), for I chose instead to see what was happening “out there”…the cute pictures, the latest on Deflategate, what a friend in another country had for dinner, and other ‘vital’ issues. (OK, I just did it…spreadsheet done!)

Social media is happy take over and to be any “excuse” for keeping us from tasks at hand. It’s hard to set boundaries…but beware if you don’t. The quicksand will take you down faster than you can blink and keep you there longer than you can stay awake.

3. Guilt Quicksand:

I may be a little crazy, but I can often feel guilty for failing to send a birthday or anniversary wish to someone in my friends or contacts–seems it’s become a sort of moral obligation to me. Birthday greetings are quite nice, and one of the super encouraging “treats” on social media. And, I appreciate the reminders to wish someone a happy day. Really I do.Yet, if I don’t check in for a few days and find I have missed numerous birthdays I feel badly, like I did something wrong.

It’s nice to remember, but honestly at times I just need to get over myself. While the wishes are encouraging and a good thing, my greeting won’t make or break someone’s day. And for family and close friends, a call or card is even nicer.  A remembrance is a nice gesture, but I step in quicksand when I feel badly when I don’t send 15 greetings a day. Anyone else relate?

4. Approval Quicksand:

When we start feeling like our value is measured by “likes” or what others think of whatever we might be doing or saying we’re going down in the muck faster than we can shinny down a greased flagpole. It’s nice to know that someone likes what we’re doing, or writing. I’m not going to lie. It’s encouraging. However, it can matter too much. Do we check for what others think and like more than we read, think, and pray about what God thinks and likes? Just sayin’. It’s good to step back every so often and check our shoes. Perhaps they have a bit to much quicksand covering them, and we fail to realize we are already there…slowly sinking..

5. Motion Picture Director Quicksand.

Certainly, it’s wonderful to capture memorable moments and share them with friends and loved ones. That’s the biggest reason I use and enjoy social media, so please don’t stop. However… We can have such an intense focus on memories as “seen from behind the lens” that we miss out on genuine interactions, laughs, tears, surprises, hugs, etc. We are too busy “directing” for our posts. While you can’t share memories in quite the same way without pictures, it’s also quite nice, at times, to simply hold those precious moments in your heart. We can then have real face to face conversations that paint pictures of what we experienced and how we felt as we experienced it. Often, those deep conversations can be even more exhilarating and meaningful than a photo. So, keep those pictures coming–but take a break from the camera often enough to feel and think and remember and share (verbally). Otherwise, your camera may get ruined because you are sinking in the motion picture director quicksand.

If you find you’re stuck in any quicksand…slowly and deliberately you can get out. And we may need to grab each other’s hands.

I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Praise be to you, O LORD; teach me your decrees. With my lips I recount all the laws that come from your mouth. I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.

Let me understand the teaching of your precepts; then I will meditate on your wonders. My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. Keep me from deceitful ways; be gracious to me through your law. I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws. I hold fast to your statutes, O LORD; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.

Psalm 119:10-16; 27-32 

10 Crucial Considerations for Spiritual Decision Making

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Ever been stuck in a decision?  One where perhaps you’re discerning a better and best more than a right or wrong?  Or, perhaps you are making a wise vs. stupid decision, but you aren’t sure which side of wise or stupid you are on.:-) Some decisions clearly do carry a right and wrong choice, as defined by God. And others, if not carefully pursued, can begin innocently and yet end up badly. Also, there there are those that can end up being better or best–decisions we don’t want to miss making.

A question I’ve been mulling around in my head and heart over the past week or two is not (in the best of my Bible reading, praying, discernment and advice seeking over the last couple of weeks) one that has a right or wrong attached to it or is of utmost importance. It’s really only about writing, and how much extra time (beyond my already very busy job) to devote to this hobby I quite enjoy. Beyond books, (which is my main focus in this hobby) I am continually learning that there’s so much more I “could and should” learn to do with blogs, social media, etc. to enhance the ability to get the message of these books out there. But alas, there are only so many hours in a day. I need to decide just how much extra time to spend on these things.

I also have a few Christian friends who are currently making some decisions of a different nature. As a result, I put together a few questions I’m asking myself concerning spiritual decision making. Let me know any others you consider, as well as how these considerations may have helped you make decisions.

One request.  Please stop and read the scriptures, for they are the real meat in this little list. And also remember that our decision making influences others’ lives whom our lives touch..

  1. Will the decision(s) I make (big and small) reflect a true “seeking the kingdom first” heart and attitude—where it is evident to those around me that the kingdom of God  and his righteousness are more important to me than anything else?  (Matthew 6:19-34)
  2. Will my decisions be made only after Bible study, prayer, perhaps fasting, and seeking advice? (James 1:2-8; 2 Timothy 2:15; Romans 15:14; Colossians 3:16-17)
  3. Will my decisions help me help more people find a true relationship with God? (1 Cor. 9:19-27, John 4:34-35)
  4. Will my decisions reflect the Godly practice of seeking advice and seeking the good of the whole?   (Romans 12:1-5; Proverbs 15:22)
  5. Will my decisions reflect a “servant heart” and will they help me exercise humility in my life? Currently, does this heart and attitude show itself in tangible ways in my life—ways that help guard me and my family from the temptations of entitlement or self-serving? (Philippians 2:1-11)
  6. If my decisions carry a price tag, will I begin with a “tithing spirit”— a decision to give to God a generous portion FIRST? Does the current way I handle my finances reflect a “first fruits” heart toward God and inspire my family to think first of giving back to God? (Mark 12:29-44)
  7. Will I let things I have already done for God, cause me to think it’s now “my time”? ,,, I deserve this or that? (Luke 17:7-10)
  8. Will my decisions help me be of greater service to the church? Ephesians 5:15-16; John 4:34-35; Luke 8:14-15)
  9. Will my decisions help me be more focused on God’s purposes, or will they add complication and distraction to my already busy life? ( Luke 10:38-42; Luke 8:14-15)
  10. Will my decisions be affected by what others will think of me more than what I can know  is best as defined by God and his word—as far as I can discern? (Mark 12:14)             crucial considerations for sdm

4 Ways to Capture Negative Thoughts

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Today’s post takes a different form from my norm.  In this video I’ll share practical applications of the scriptures that call us to “take our thoughts captive”–which is certainly easier to read than to do!

Gulp…my thought right now is that I feel quite vulnerable posting this…but I think the message is worth sharing.

Beginning with a story about taking my grandson’s negative emotions captive, I’ll share several tools we can all use to overcome negative,distracting, sinful, and/or annoying thoughts.  ICOC Hotnews produced this, and they added some cool graphics about halfway through. Enjoy–as you slap mosquitoes and catch butterflies.

Set Your Mind on Things Above

 

The Little Fox and the Little Cockerpoo

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There are big things in life that give us pause—and tempt us with worry. Things like illness, job struggles, and conflicts.  They call us to a deeper and higher faith.

Then there are other things that are small, and stupid, and annoying, and seemingly insignificant in the face of life and love. Often, it’s those things that try to steal my joy and pulverize my peace. A verse in Song of Songs 2:15 describes this type of annoyance:  Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.

And, if these foxes aren’t caught they can put a choke-hold on our spiritual growth.

The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature.  Luke 8:14

For me, this fox recently took the form of an eighteen pound ball of fluff—my thirteen-year-old cockerpoo.20150417_013724

Until recently I had a love-hate relationship with him. You see—about a year ago, after his dog cousin came for a visit, he felt obligated to claim every space where his dog cousin had ever set his paw. Yes, this became a terrible daily ritual. It began in the yard…where every blade of grass and rock or pebble seemingly called out to him for ownership. Unfortunately, it didn’t stop there.

I would hold my breath each time I walked through my front door, wondering what claimed treasures awaited me.  I would then cautiously peer at all of the usual suspects—the front left wooden leg of my new chair and the right wooden leg of the same chair.  (He was at least symmetrical in his claims.)  I’d then venture over to the plastic bin containing our golden retriever’s food—to find it had also been claimed. The trashcan, the vacuum cleaner…yes, they all had his initials written on them—PP.

If ever a new object entered the room, he was determined to “own it”.  I gasped whenever a guest placed their purse or briefcase down on our floor, knowing it was a race against time as to who could reach it first…him or me.  I would hastily grab said object as if I were sliding into base—placing said object somewhere above the four-inch- high margin required to be safe from “claimage territory.” Every day, twice a day, I folded about six paper towels and placed them under the left wooden leg of my chair and the right wooden leg of the same chair. A paper towel palette was also carefully placed under the dog food bin. This way, I could “catch” the claimage and throw it away. My house began to look like a sea of Bounty.

I explained to my little dog that really…he could have it all—everything in the house I’d give him—No need to claim it again and again.

He didn’t care.

My husband, sensing my angst, offered various solutions—all of which didn’t end very well for the dog. My dog’s disturbing antics began to haunt me, appearing in my dreams and consuming too many of my thoughts.  Really, how stupid…in the big scheme of things… that my dog’s marking could take so much attention from much more important things.

So, I made an appointment for my dog to see the vet.  I reasoned that there must certainly be a medical reason for such horrible behavior. An infection? A tick eating away his brain?

Alas…He was healthy. The vet, noting we had never had him “fixed”—(duh, he was obviously broken)—suggested we try neutering him. If this didn’t work (which was possible due to his age) then he would be given behavior meds.  If those didn’t work, perhaps I could take them.

My husband was not keen on the idea of spending several hundred dollars for a “possible” solution, suggesting he had much less expensive solutions (of course he meant petting him more often and giving more treats 🙂 ) My veterinarian told me about a shelter an hour away that offered inexpensive neutering.

So, early one snowy morning I drove over an hour to “the place.”  After I dropped him off for the day I went to pray—praying that if this little deed being done would not stop the madness—that he would go quietly and peacefully to doggie heaven (I hoped) while under anesthesia.  Later in the day, when I picked him up he was as frisky as a young pup.  It was obviously not yet his time.  Later that evening…day of surgery…we had a birthday celebration at our house that included all of our family and all family dogs. 16 humans, 5 dogs.  Not a smart move.  My 13-year-old newly-neutered-canine felt the commotion and in his anxiety… peed. Fail.

However, the story didn’t end there. I am thrilled to tell you that this was nearly three months ago…and he has been perfect since that day! No marking…just calm and obedient. (This was perhaps the best $100 I ever spent.)  Fixed and fixed. I now smile when I walk in the front door, as there is nothing to find.  I sent my veterinarian flowers (not really, but did send her a thank you) and no longer fold the paper towels and place them around the house.

The fox has been captured and the dog has been saved. I’m once again sane and can more peacefully focus on matters of greater significance.  That is, until the next fox comes and tries to steal my peace.  Prayerfully I’ll be ready for him.

 

 

Spiritual Editing

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Mark-ups (whether red, purple or blue) from editing are my friends. A  fellow writer and dear friend once told me of his posture toward editors—they are his welcomed friends. Thanks, Gordon. He told me he accepts most all of the input they give him. Ironically, he taught me much about accepting “spiritual editing” in the same manner. You see, writing books and articles can make me feel very vulnerable. I write because I desire to share things that help me connect to God and his Word.  I pray these things will benefit many others. But the voice in my head can say: What if this sounds stupid, or makes no sense? Is this any good? Is it helpful to anyone? 

That’s why I seek editing for my writing.  Editing exposes and corrects my weaknesses, which really is a great thing.

Likewise, spiritual editing can feel vulnerable as in:  Someone noticed  I’m not perfect 🙂…in fact quite flawed.

If I want to be a growing writer, and more importantly a growing Christian, I must seek out and embrace editing.

When I first began writing, I was sort of encouraged—assured that when there were red (or purple or blue) marks on the page it meant my editor felt she had something to work with. That was a start. Sometimes the marks were there because I misused a word or used incorrect grammar. Other times they were there because the flow of words was confusing and difficult for the reader to follow.  Funny thing—in my head the words made sense to me. However, I realize I don’t always see them as others do. In fact, I can know what I want to say so clearly that I can leave out an entire word, reread it five times, and still not realize the word is missing. My editors have been kind—as they intersperse  words of encouragement  among the corrections.  Aaahhh.

Since I see editing as my friend I have learned to accept most all changes that are suggested.  Actually, there is a nice little editing feature you can turn on in most computers. 20150318_130848This “edit mode” allows someone to go back and forth with another person as the document is edited. One can comment on another’s comments and vice versa. Editors can strike through words and give alternative choices. You can also “accept” or “reject” their input.  At times I can be tempted to just accept everything without paying attention–in order to save time. However, I prefer to look at each correction and comment I receive so I can learn from the editing process. There have been occasions where my intention was not clear, so instead of just accepting the changes I learned to reword things–to make my intent clearer. And my editors won’t just give me “answers” but make me think through the process and come up with a new approach. I’m so tempted to just have them do it…but that would hinder my growth. Even though I was instructed in my early  teen years by a teacher who was surely the chief commander of the “Grammar Special Ops Forces” I continually learn new rules of grammar—as well as punctuation possibilities such as hyphens, en dashes, and em dashes—which I’ve come to enjoy.

Currently, I am supervising a college writing internship for a young friend. This puts me on the other side of the red marks—the one sending them. The process is actually easier than I anticipated because of the knowledge and experience I have gained through my personal editing processes. Now, I’m extra grateful that I paid attention and tried to understand the things I was being taught. That instruction makes me a better teacher.  I can’t be a good teacher without being a good learner. I’m sure of that.

When I returned my young friend’s article to him full of “red edits” I reminded him of the same thing I learned from my friend—corrections are your friends.They make you a better writer, which is what you want to become. He responded with these remarks:  “Thanks so much for clarifying the intent behind your edits. It really helps me. While I know intellectually that criticism is extremely important and beneficial, sometimes I get discouraged by lots of it because I think it reflects poorly on who I am. But again, I’m glad you cleared that up! I’m very encouraged.”

I love that response. I thought about the many applications this has for our spiritual progress.  Spiritual editing—discipling (or helping each other to grow to be more Christ-like) is a command from God, and is for our good.

See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first. (Hebrews 3:12-14)

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.  And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:23-24)

We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me. (Colossians 1:28-29)

We can feel insecure when we see or are made aware of areas where we need to grow (as if they aren’t obvious to others anyway.) Or, we can choose to see these things as encouragements and stepping stones toward growth—which are really what we want, right? If we begin with the knowledge that we don’t always see our writing clearly—or much more importantly our hearts— it will be easier to greatly welcome editing—of words or hearts.  Jeremiah 17:9 is really true.  The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

We need help from one another. It’s a good thing—a good friend.

When we learn from the editing in our lives, we can then offer the editing we have learned to others—honest and sincere, while encouraging and confirming of each person’s value to God and to us.

Editing is our friend…so keep your computer and your heart in the “edit mode”.

 

 

 

 

 

A Friday the 13th Good Thing!

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If you are nervous that Friday the 13th is not supposed to be a good day… I actually have some good news for you. My good friend Elizabeth Thompson, who happens to be a gifted writer, launched a fabulous new website today. Lizzy-headshot-1On this site you can find some excellent parenting tools, two-minute family devotionals, meaningful musings, lists of “13’s” and information about some great fiction books for young adults (and hey, you count as a young adult.)  So. in the spirit of this new site,  LizzieLife.com, here are 13 reasons to view this site.

1. You will be informed and inspired.

2. You will be entertained.

3. You will have access to some excellent parenting advice.

4. You will view a very well-put-together website. (Yes, I was motivated to refresh mine after perusing hers :-))

5.  When you want to give your children some spiritual food with breakfast…you have the tools right there on your smartphone or computer…as close at hand as the salt and pepper  (or maybe closer if you have a hard time finding like I do.)

6. You can discover a great gift to give a young adult..brother, sister, niece, nephew,son, daughter, or grandchild.

7. You can be happy that there is some clean, fun writing for your tweens and teens (as well as good stuff for you).

8.  You can find someone who can relate to the craziness that can occur when you have children.

9. You can gain some Godly perspective when the said craziness is making you a little, or a lot, crazy.

10.  You can encourage a wonderful person who is taking a brave a new step in her writing career.  (Being a writer can feel vulnerable and lonely–and encouragement is always appreciated.)

11. You can get a laugh.

12. You can shed a tear (the aawwww good kind).

13. If you sign up to follow the website you can continue to be encouraged.

Check it out:  LizzyLife.com   logo-lizzylife