There are many arenas where I can get stuck in the “almost going for it” stance. The longer I take to leave the starting block, the more overwhelmed I can feel to start or “restart” something I actually really want to do. Then, anticipatory fatigue (thanks Fred Faller, for coining this fitting phrase) sets in.
I got out of my writing habit. Most days I’ve actually had something on my heart I’ve wanted to write down, I just haven’t taken the time to do it or gotten around to it. I want to write, I believe it’s a good thing…but somewhere amidst the crazy busyness of this summer, the “actual doing it” has not happened.
At times this pause can happen to me in far more important areas of life – like practicing well thought out and planned Bible study, or praying the kind of prayers that take the needed time and concentration to include the thanksgiving, praise, thoughts, desperation, dreams and needs for others that I really desire to include and to talk with God about. This “stuck” posture can also include following up with needed conversations and continuing to reach out to others around me. There is a war that goes on inside and it’s nothing new.
21 So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
Romans 7:21-25 (NIV)
I do realize that failure to write is not sinful, however, knowing the good I need to do and not doing it…is. 17 Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.
James 4:17 (NIV)
So tonight I’m off the “writing” starting blocks. I finally have my “round tuit,” so there’s no excuse. It’s really no big deal, but more representative of things that are big deals….like re-starting some more in depth study and making some needed phone calls. If I don’t now, then when will I?
What do you know that you need to do and actually want to do…but just need to start, or re-start the actual doing it part? I’d love for you to join me. There is more energy in running or in flying together…just ask the geese. There is really no better day to start than today.
And once I start….momentum kicks in and I certainly feel God’s Spirit more alive in my life with the energy he promises to inspire within me (Col 1:29)
I know the feeling. 🙂 Glad you’re back!
Wow, thank you, Jeanie! You have spoken to my heart once again! I feel like I’m bursting with ideas and plans, but I feel stuck; and yes, the anticipatory fatigue has set in….But, with God’s strength, today is the day to just start!
I’ve been wondering about you; glad you’re at it again. I should talk though…the English teacher who never even emails her sister! However, you know the Christmas letter will arrive sooner than we think. Time does fly. And who knows, perhaps I’ll take your advice and you’ll have something in your inbox in a few days.
Love and hugs,