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Showing Up

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It’s my routine every evening.  Before I retire for the night I let both dogs go outside.  They do their thing, always eager to come back inside for their night-time treats.  Last night was meant to be no different. They went out.  The puppy came bounding in doing all of his new tricks to earn his doggie treat.  Blackie (aka “Jackie”) didn’t return.

It was raining outside so I figured he must have needed a little more time since he should have been very eager to come in to the warm, dry house.  After a few minutes I called him again.  No response.  Today was trash day in our town, so I surmised that perhaps he was sniffing out a few cans, or checking out the fire hydrants.  Thirty minutes went by – still no response.  This is when my imagination kicked in.  I pictured him in the mouth of a coyote, cornered by angry skunks, stuck in a fence, or even sleeping beside a pot-bellied pig at a neighbor’s house.  (That had happened with a dog we had when she had stayed out all night)

Last night, as it neared midnight I was faced with a conundrum.  Should I go searching, or just wait for his return?  I scoped out the usual places and loudly called his name (sorry neighbors)-  but still no Blackie.  I knew I had a busy day today, so crawled into bed and tried to fall asleep – to no avail.  What if he was hurt, lost, or in trouble?  I prayed, and then watched some restaurant intervention show with a new plan to check the front door at every commercial.  I went to the door time and time again…and this is what I saw.   Yes, nothing!  It was such a sad, disappointing sight.   I kept envisioning the fluffly little ball of fur at the door but kept seeing …nothing.  1:00am – nothing.  1:30am – nothing.  2:00am – nothing.

I got to thinking about how God feels when waiting for me to “show up” with him when I get busy in the morning, or distracted  from time with him in prayer and in His word.   I can at times take time spent with God for granted, and exchange the important for the urgent.  Perhaps the most convicting, piercing scripture to me is from Luke 10:38-42

    As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. [39] She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. [40] But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

    [41] “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, [42] but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I recently read an article from Robert Boyd Munger’s  “My Heart Christ’s Home”.  While some parts I felt were lacking scripturally the following paragraphs moved me deeply as the author described a conversation with Jesus as he visited different rooms of our heart.

We walked next into the drawing room.  This room was rather intimate and comfortable.  I liked it.  It had a fireplace, overstuffed chairs, a bookcase, sofa, and a quiet atmosphere. 

He (Jesus) also seemed pleased with it. He said, “This is indeed a delightful room.  Let us come here often.  It is secluded and quiet and we can have fellowship together.”…

He promised, “I will be here every morning early.  Meet with me here and we will start the day together.”  So, morning after morning, I would come downstairs into the drawing room and He would take a book of the Bible…open it and we would read together.  He would tell me of its riches and unfold to me its truths…They were wonderful hours together. …

But little by little, under the pressure of many responsibilities, this time began to be shortened…I began to miss a day now and then….I would miss it two days in a row and often more.

I remember one day when I was in a hurry….As I passed the drawing room, the door was ajar.  Looking in I saw a fire in the fireplace and the Lord sitting there….”Blessed Master, forgive me.  Have you been here all these mornings?”

“Yes,” He said.  “I told you I would be here every morning to meet with you.” Then I was even more ashamed.  He had been faithful in spite of my faithfulness.  I asked His forgiveness and He readily forgave me…

He said, “The trouble with you is this:  You have been thinking of the quiet time, of the Bible study and prayer time, as a factor in your own spiritual progress, but you have forgotten that this hour means something to Me also.”

I think I sort of fell asleep for a couple of hours and then at 4:30am checked the door again…Blackie was there at the door, wet – and acting as if nothing had happened.  I then fell sound asleep.  He was home, out of harm’s way.

It’s such an amazing privilege to spend time with God… and I know how deeply I need it. Often, just showing up is the beginning of my growth.   Not only does “not showing up” make me vulnerable, but I can fail to see that this time matters to him.  Amazing.

 

Can A Truck Say “Choo-Choo”?

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My two 2-year- old grandchildren were having a discussion this morning.  My daughter summed up the context of their debate.   Lexi was trying to convince Micah that trucks could say “choo-choo”.  Micah was countering that only trains could say “choo-choo”.  That sound was not for trucks, but reserved for trains.  After some friendly bantering, they both agreed to disagree and moved on to their next game of taking “pretend naps” on the floor.

I thought about this discussion and smiled at their imagination.  I could picture them and each of the trucks and trains in play, along with the corresponding sounds they would make while playing.  Some of these particular trucks have seen a lot of play and actually talk quite a lot.  This one drives me crazy sometimes, barking out “Caterpillar Power”  just when I think it is fast asleep in the toybox.  I can tend to personalize toys.  I still take care putting the baby dolls away.  I want them to be warm and comfortable 🙂

So, can a truck say “choo-choo”?   I suppose,… but I think it would be  better said by the train. We are each created with different strengths.   I’m often struck by how similar but different each one of us is. We each have specific  ways we can particularly and uniquely use our experiences and gifts.

I love God’s church and the way he puts all her parts together.  Like an orchestra, when each part is doing what it does best and is working together – the resulting harmony  is stunning.  Everyone is important, everyone is needed.  Our differences teach us how to honor one another.  We are not meant to function as a church of one.  God has put us together for a reason.  We need each other.  God has planned and designed for us to function together as a body, a family, a household…his church.  We are meant to love each other and belong to each other.

Romans 12:1, 3-10

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship…

    For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. [4] Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, [5] so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. [6] We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. [7] If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; [8] if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

    [9] Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. [10] Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Today I am so grateful for the ways I see those in the church around me devote themselves and offer themselves – to God’s service and to the service of “one another”.    Like the truck, I will likely do best when I “vroom, vroom” rather than “choo-choo.”  However, I desperately need the “choo-choos” surrounding me.  We all need each other’s uniqueness amidst our unity in conviction and purpose.   May we each wholeheartedly offer ourselves – and what we uniquely contribute to God’s church.

Getting “Unstuck”

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Denver, our golden retriever pup, had me worried yesterday.  He was sick on his stomach and lethargic throughout the day and evening. Even as all the kids and grandkids gathered for a family dinner last night  Denver didn’t want to play – and he always wants to play!  Clearly, something wasn’t right.  This felt reminiscent of a time when his half-brother (Kristen’s dog, Luke) was ill and needed surgery in order to survive.  It was a rough time, and many prayers and dollars later a turquoise pacifier emerged from the dog’s intestines into the surgeon’s hand. The stuck object had to be freed in order for him to survive.  Otherwise, he could not take in any food or nutrients for processing. Fortunately he got “unstuck”.  Luke is now an active, healthy 3 year old dog.

This morning, Denver got his strength back.  He got “unstuck”.  It seemed he was heading toward the same situation  his older half-brother endured until, during his morning walk, a surprise appeared.  Yes, here it is (hosed off for pictures) in all its glory!  Denver had eaten (in entirety) a stuffed mouse – red with little green ears and beady eyes. Who knows where he found it?!  I was so grateful the mouse made it though to the other side. Otherwise, the consequences could have been dire.

How often we can take things in….and  get “stuck” because we don’t have an outlet for them.  We can become like the Dead Sea. The Dead Sea does not support life, because it has no outward flow – nowhere to go.

The Samaritan woman was stuck in fear, hopelessness and sin until she met Jesus.  John 4:7-15
  When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” [8] (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
    [9] The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)
    [10] Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
    [11] “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? [12] Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?”
    [13] Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, [14] but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
    [15] The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

Whenever I am fearful,  discouraged, upset or lacking faith I have choices.  I  can hold these things in and try to carry them myself.   Nothing good ever comes from this.  I just becomes stagnate and stinky.  Yet, if I take these things to Jesus, he, through the living water he gives me, gets me “unstuck”.  When I get unstuck, then I can also offer the effects of this living water to those around me. What a great promise that I desperately need and count on.

Rev. 7:17
For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
        he will lead them to springs of living water.
    And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”
 

Closer Than a Tick on a Hound Dog

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I’ve never been fond of ticks.  I once accidentally picked up a well-fed tick off my kitchen floor, thinking I had dropped a blueberry. That was thoroughly disgusting – and it was a while before I was able to eat a blueberry again. Most ticks, however, are smaller than that.  Often they go unnoticed. 

I live in the midst of tick country.  Lyme, Connecticut, is not too far away from my home and the corridor where I live is known for its lyme disease carrying ticks. We get our dogs a lyme vaccine each year and we use a tick preventative on their fur coats. I’m careful to watch for ticks on their skin, and don’t even mind pulling them out. However, I guess I should have put some prevention on my hair. Somewhere, sometime in the recent past…I evidently had a tick that stuck quite closely to me.  I never even knew it was there.  Yet, it snuck on in and wreaked some havoc with me.

As previously shared, I recently had a heart catheter ablation.  It was actually a very needed and successful procedure, yet I started feeling worse than before I had it.   I read some people’s posts after they had their procedures, befuddled by their comments on the joys of their now quiet heart. I was truly happy for them – but knew something was wrong with me.

A couple weeks after my ablation, I was longing for that quiet heart. Things had gotten noisy for me.  I couldn’t sleep most nights, and felt like I was wired to an IV full of adrenaline mixed with caffeine.  I felt my heart beating through my eyelids, fingertips, ears, throat and my body would involuntarily start to shake. My pulse went up along with my blood pressure.  I could have taken orders for overnight house cleaning, gardening and various busywork – and gotten a lot accomplished…as I was on overdrive. It was truly miserable!  I found some relief from a prescribed medication, but unfortunately it was only treating the symptoms.  I was begging God for relief, most nights keeping music in my ears to try to gain some distraction.  I watched more  middle of the night “Chopped” and “Cupcake Wars” than I care to remember.

Today I saw my primary care physician and my cardiologist.  (Yes, the one with the 1950’s office).  I’m so grateful to have an astute physician who followed her hunch.  She had a premonition of what might be at the root of things and ordered a test for me last week – a western blot lyme test.  The positive result caused she and the cardiologist to let me know I had an acute case of lyme.  (A tick -or rather the lyme infection it had left me with, had been messing with my heart.)  Evidently, the prodding from the procedure (and possibly a flight) had stirred things up with the infection and caused these crazy episodes.  This news was a great birthday present, as I learned the root cause for my issues.  Once they get the heart rate down in about a week through medication, I can begin the lyme treatment and should see full and complete recovery!  My cardiologist stated I was “one lucky person”, as he thought that 99 out of 100 doctors (including him) would have never thought to check this. He felt that he would be pulling out his hair wondering what to check next.   I am very, very grateful.  Two scriptural principles stand out to me.

Jeremiah 6:14-16
    They dress the wound of my people
        as though it were not serious.
    ‘Peace, peace,’ they say,
        when there is no peace.
    [15] Are they ashamed of their loathsome conduct?
        No, they have no shame at all;
        they do not even know how to blush.
    So they will fall among the fallen;
        they will be brought down when I punish them,”

says the Lord.
 
    [16] This is what the Lord says:

    “Stand at the crossroads and look;
        ask for the ancient paths,
    ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
        and you will find rest for your souls.

This scripture teaches me that it does no good to put spiritual band-aids over life (spiritual, emotional and physical) issues that must be pulled out by the root….or to tell people they are okay with God, when in fact God’s own words may say differently. We must “test” our lives by God’s word to know the good way, to choose it and walk in it.  This choice can give rest for our souls.

Also, Proverbs 20:5 teaches me that I need others in my life to help me “diagnose” the things in my heart.
The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters,
        but a man of understanding draws them out.

I’m feeling grateful for the woman of medical understanding that looked deeper than the surface, to what lay under the band-aid.  I’m grateful for those who have helped me see these things spiritually as well.
 

The Day I Was Born

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Fifty-eight years ago today Porter Horne’s mother was exceedingly grateful.  The Horne’s, and their two little boys, lived across the pond from my family’s house.  On this particular day, March 23, 1954, five year old Porter was enjoying a tricycle ride with his older brother – until something went terribly wrong.   Porter rode his little trike down the dock and never put on the brakes.  He and his tricycle fell into the water.  His frightened brother ran to get their mother.  Their panicked mother, who could not swim, noticed my dad’s car pulling into his driveway at that exact time.  She screamed to my dad that her son was at the bottom of the pond.  My dad ran to the pond, jumped in and pulled the lifeless boy out of the murky water.  After a few minutes of mouth to mouth resuscitation, the boy began to breathe.  An ambulance arrived to take the boy to the local hospital where he completely recovered.

The headline from the Tampa Tribune the next day read, “Baby’s Birth Saves Gainesville Boy from Drowning”.   You see, my mother had called my Dad home that particular morning because of my imminent birth.  It happened at just the right time and place…  Not a minute too soon, or too late.  I don’t remember anything about the day I was born, but I’m sure Mrs. Horne remembered.  And I’m sure my parents remembered.  What is even more special to me is that God remembers, and knows the day I was born.

Psalm 139:13-16

    For you created my inmost being;

        you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

    [14] I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

        your works are wonderful,

        I know that full well.

    [15] My frame was not hidden from you

        when I was made in the secret place.

    When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

        [16] your eyes saw my unformed body.

    All the days ordained for me

        were written in your book

        before one of them came to be.

 These verses amaze me, showing me that I’m known, created and cared for by God.

Acts 17:26-27

    From one man he made every nation of men that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. [27] God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.

I am humbled that God also picked the time and place for me to live, in order for me to seek him, reach out for him and find him.

I am also truly amazed that God looks at each of us as described below.   No matter what circumstances we were born into, or whether or not anyone cares that we were born….God does care, lovingly picks us up and wants  us feel valued and known – to be found by Him.   I have had the incredible privilege to know and love many young men and women who grew up as orphans.  They grew up never knowing their birthdays. I was able to celebrate birthdays with many of them for the first time. Their life had previously not been celebrated by another person.  But God celebrated them all along.

Ezekiel 16:1-7

    The word of the Lord came to me: [2] “Son of man, confront Jerusalem with her detestable practices [3] and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says to Jerusalem: Your ancestry and birth were in the land of the Canaanites; your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite. [4] On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths. [5] No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you. Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised.

    [6] ” ‘Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, “Live!” [7] I made you grow like a plant of the field…….

I particularly miss my mom and dad on my birthday, as I think about the difference they made in my life from that day forward….as well as the difference in Porter Horne’s life, his parent’s life, his brother’s life and so many, many other lives.  I pray likewise, that my life and your life can be always be used to help other people find life.

Dinner With a Friend

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Whenever time and finances allow, there are few things I enjoy more than eating dinner with friends.  Last night, I experienced dining at its finest!  I had a free meal with a special friend.  We ate cereal, cookies, cupcakes, ice cream, pasta and soup.  The non-stop conversation was meaningful, and at the end of the meal our bellies were full.  A few times I tried to stand to stretch my legs or to go in and join the “grown-ups” in the other room – only to be instructed to sit back down in order to talk and eat a little longer. 

Fortunately, I used no Weight Watchers points during this meal.  The food was imaginary and my grandson-friend is two years old.  It was just the two of us, conversing and enjoying each others company.  This special meal brought to life a scripture I read today in Rev. 3:14-20.
“To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

    These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation. [15] I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! [16] So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth. [17] You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. [18] I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.
[19]   Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. [20] Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

This passage of scripture (especially verses 20, 21) is often misused,  especially when read out of context. These verses were never intended to instruct one on how to become a Christian.  These words were written to a church in Laodicea (an ancient Roman province of Asia).  Since this letter was addressed to a church, the recipients of this letter were individuals who had already become Christians.  These verses, however, do relay a most amazing message!

The Christians in Laodicea, who had at one time had made Jesus Lord of their lives, had now become complacent and lukewarm.  Though in an unacceptable standing before God, they still felt pretty good about themselves, forgetting their absolute dependence and need for their Lord.  Jesus, through strong words, attempts to stir their hearts to awaken them spiritually so that they will change their course. I try to picture this scene, where the group is gathered together as a church and Jesus is banging at the door, “I’m here!!! Let me in!”

What amazes me is Jesus’ desire to sit at our table  –  to sit and talk and dine with us. (And this was written after Jesus had been treated with apathy and contempt  when he deserves to be the focal point of our lives.)   If I try to walk away, it’s as if he has the same desire that my grandson expressed…”sit, stay, don’t leave… let’s keep talking and eating.”

My grandson wanted to share a “meal” with me. He was looking for my devotion and attention – my heart.  He was actually better at this dining experience than I was. He was not distracted with “more important” things.  I’m touched that my grandson wanted to sit and eat with me.

I’m floored that my Creator wants to come and “eat with me”.  I know he is looking for my devotion, my attention – my heart.  Yet I can too often become distracted with other things vying for my attention.  I know nothing is more important than His presence in my life.  Why should I ever want, through complacency, distraction or apathy – to leave a meal with Jesus?  He provides that menu that truly fills me and the ambiance that brings peace, comfort and security.

Are you enjoying His presence at your table, or is he banging at your door?

Falling Into Holes

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I fell into a hole today.  Other than the humiliation of being sprawled out on the lawn of a funeral home, and a sprained, swollen and black and blue “pinky” – there were no serious repercussions.  Sometimes I feel like holes in the ground just wait for me – or perhaps I’m just a bit of a klutz.

One of my most memorable falls happened a number of years ago in my back yard.  We had unsuccessfully tried to breed our long-haired dachshund, Brandy, to a dapper young male dachshund.  Brandy wanted nothing to do with him.  Her heart belonged to the poodle down the street.  No sooner than we had ended an unsuccessful visit with this young dachshund suitor I looked outside my kitchen window to discover that the neighbor’s poodle had come calling.  He had climbed our chain link fence to “wed” our little dachshund.  I grabbed a broom and ran out of the house chasing the poodle whose heart’s desire was obviously bent on fathering  Brandy’s first puppies. As I was lapping the yard while chasing the poodle with the broom I fell face down into a hole, thus unable to sweep away the suitor who was already quite  “swept away”.  I feel confident that if this awkward scene had been captured in the YouTube era it would have gone viral.  Alas, this fall had consequences – scraped arms and knees – and  six long, grey, curly and quite adorable dach-a-poos.

Falling into holes can hurt, and leave all kinds of lingering physical  consequences. However,  there are also  “spiritual holes” we can trip over or fall into. The results can be far more devastating.  These holes can be little pits of distraction or gaping craters of anxiety and worry.  We can be sure that all forces of evil will try dig holes around us hoping to trip us up.

As I read the scriptures below I was struck by the charge  to make level paths for my feet. How can I make my ground level?!

I  can do this by learning from God’s discipline, by throwing off the things that hinder me or “trip me up”, and by fixing my eyes on Jesus.

Hebrews 12:1-3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. [2] Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. [3] Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:5
And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:

    “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
        and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

Hebrews 12:12-13
Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. [13] “Make level paths for your feet,” so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.

I so appreciate, that even though I may be clumsy on my feet, I have a God who is willing to hold me up and keep me steady.

Jude 1:24-25
To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy– [25] to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.

Seven Habits For Building A Strong Marriage

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Since we are away, teaching at a marriage retreat, it seems a good time to post some habits my husband and I have developed over the years which have helped to make our marriage strong.   37 years later, there is no one I would rather spend time with than my husband – my best friend.

If I were to list the most important habits we have incorporated into our marriage they would be:

1.  Practice daily prayer together. – It has been so meaningful to us to take our gratitude, concerns and requests to God as a couple, as well as individually.  I love the scripture in Exodus 33:12-17

    Moses said to the Lord, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’ [13] If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.”

    [14] The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.”

    [15] Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. [16] How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”

    [17] And the Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.”   

Our marriage is strong because we have chosen to practice His Presence with us.  Having God with us in our marriage means everything.  We cannot guide it or carry it alone.  We always need His Presence and involvement in our marriage.

2.  Have a purposeful assessment and planning time together each week.

 We have found that “life” gets away from us if we don’t deliberately make plans along with our prayers.

Every week we take some extended time together to talk about our spiritual and emotional state of being, what is going on in our lives as well as well as what  areas need growth.  We follow this with some extended prayer time together.

1 Peter 1:13-16

    Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. [14] As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. [15] But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; [16] for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”

If we don’t set aside a time to plan and prepare our minds for action things get crazy and we end up not practically living out our priorities.

Our bumps have usually come from unmet or differing expectations, resulting from things that we did not talk through.

When our children were still at home, we also walked through their schedules  – considering  their physical and emotional needs, how we would prioritize getting time with them, and how to include time for family devotionals.  We strove to have a deliberate approach for developing the spiritual and emotional connections in our family, seeking family feedback from within and without the family.

3.  Eat together at the dinner table   – Most days (with a rare exception) we strove to have everyone together at the family dinner table.  These were precious times. We still enjoy dinner together, even as empty nesters.  It has also served us well to go to bed at the same time most nights.

4.  Practice openness and transparency  –We have found it extremely beneficial to have another couple or two consistently in our lives who know us really well and care about our spiritual, emotional and physical well-being.   We open up our lives to them.  This practice not only helps us grow, but it also helps us get rid of “blind spots” that can weigh us down.  These friends provide  a place to get “unstuck” if we come to an impasse.

5  Cultivate an outward focused lifestyle      Col. 4:2-6

    Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. [3] And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. [4] Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. [5] Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. [6] Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Galatians 2:10   All they asked was that we should continue to remember the poor, the very thing I was eager to do.

Practicing hospitality in our home, along with finding ways to serve the poor has served our marriage and family in a tremendous way.  It truly is more blessed to give than to receive, and these practices have reminded us and our children that we are not the center of the universe, but are instead meant to give to and serve others.  This habit has refreshed our souls over and over again.

6.  Express love and affection to each other daily…don’t just assume it’s a given.  I’m amazed at the ways God expresses his love for me in the scriptures, through people, and through His creation.   My husband consistently encourages me and expresses his affection toward me.  This practice helps me (and our family) remember why we love each other…and encourages us to keep on giving.

7.  Enjoy God’s pleasant boundaries.

Psalm 16:6

    The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

        surely I have a delightful inheritance.

We have found it extremely helpful and important to enjoy each other, and to enjoy the pleasant boundaries we have been given. That’s why you may find us taking a walk, sipping coffee on the front porch as the sun sets, sitting by the fire,  riding our bicycles, walking in the snow, playing with our grandchildren, running our dogs, licking a frozen yogurt cone at Bedford Farms, hiking a trail or watching the waves roll on the North Shore.

It’s never too late to begin good habits!

Crashing Through the Quitting Places

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Often, I take the back roads near my house in order to access the main highway.  Though this path is quite curvy to navigate, the scenery is striking.  My favorite corner along this route houses a pasture where a large horse can often be seen grazing.  Two miniature horses are usually accompanying him.  These beautiful animals always bring a smile to my face.  I go a little further and approach what the townspeople  here call “death bridge”.  It is a narrow, rickety one-way bridge that spans over the railroad tracks below.

As I prepare to cross the bridge my eyes always come to rest on a landmark that has become an eyesore to me, and likely to all who pass by.   Several years ago a garden center occupied several acres in this location.  It was sold to a developer who planned to build an active retirement community.  The developer displayed his plans, and made a start….but never finished.  Years later this project consists of a few unfinished cement walls covered with graffiti and weeds.

For some reason, the builder did not finish what was started.  I don’t know what obstacles stood in the way.  Perhaps he could not get the financing or he ran into various permit restrictions.  Maybe he just changed his mind.  Whatever happened, this collection of cement, graffiti and weeds is now only a monument to what “could have been”.  I  am always reminded of the scripture on the cost of following Jesus described in Luke 14:28-30

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? [29] For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, [30] saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’

I want my life to always reflect Jesus, instead of becoming an unfinished monument to “almost, woulda, shoulda”.

Often, we are tempted to quit before we reach breakthroughs that bring about victory or completion.  Perseverance is hard.  We don’t even ‘experience’ perseverance until we want to quit.

When are you tempted to quit?  Perhaps it is when trying overcome a character weakness or sin; or perhaps it is beginning a new, good habit.  Maybe you know you need to find God and yet find excuses that keep you from following through.  You may need to resolve a relationship that seems too hard or begin one that seems overwhelming.   Do you have a dream you want to pursue…but think of a thousand reasons why it won’t work?

Through the years I have come to trust that God is capable of empowering me to do whatever He asks of me.  Yet, there are times I tire of pushing through difficulties, or welcoming new areas where I  can grow spiritually.  Sometimes I  get weary of simple mundane tasks like dishes, laundry and flossing my teeth.  Then I think of scriptures such as Hebrews 10:35-39

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. [36] You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. [37] For in just a very little while,

“He who is coming will come and will not delay.

[38] But my righteous one will live by faith.

And if he shrinks back,

I will not be pleased with him.”

[39] But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved.

These words help me to crash through the quitting places in my life. And I still hope that one day, as I pass by the concrete slab on the way to the highway…the weeds will be gone and the foundation that was started will be a vibrant and active community, another garden center, or even a pasture where a few more horses can feed. It’s not too late.

Connection Correction!

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I’ve learned anew, in a very personal way, just how important it is to have correct connections.  Earlier this week I found out that I had an “extra” connector inside of my heart called a bypass tract. Two days later I was in the hospital getting this situation corrected, as it was deemed dangerous.   It was successful, though a very unpleasant experience.

There is a very specific, God designed way, with which the human heart is meant to pump blood throughout our bodies.  When an extra connector (other than the intended one) gets involved in the process it confuses the way the heart is intended to work.  The electricity can quickly jump from the correct connector to the errant connector.  In my case, the electricity kept wanting to jump the track, finding my available and yet wayward  connector.   This resulted in a “short circuit”, which is not good in an electric toaster, or a human heart.   

All too often in life we deviate from the way things were meant to be.  We see before us many choices of pathways to follow.   When we wander down a different path from the one God intended for us numerous  aspects of our lives get “short circuited”.  Whether it be the standard we use for sin and righteousness, the way we approach marriage or even the choices we make concerning the focus of our time and attention – we can tend to stray from the path of God’s intended track for our lives.  We may tend to make up our own instructions, or search a different road – rather than seeking out the will of God.   The result can be debilitating, or even fatal – now and eternally.  We end up short –circuited!  Though short circuits can produce fireworks for a moment and a “flash in the pan” they will not last. After the sparks die down there is no more power, life or energy.

To keep my electrical charges from further straying, the doctors  got rid of the errant path, or connection.  I suffered “true heartburn”.  They literally burned the deviant connection, in order to prevent it from being accessed and traveled again.   This was a radical, but necessary approach.

Spiritually, we can be tempted to travel superfluous or meaningless paths, different from the clear ones given by God.   How much more important to “burn these bridges behind us”, allowing us to function whole-heartedly – in the ways our God intended.

Deut. 4:39

Acknowledge and take to heart this day that the Lord is God in heaven above and on the earth below. There is no other.

Deut. 5:7

“You shall have no other gods before me.

Deut. 5:32
So be careful to do what the Lord your God has commanded you; do not turn aside to the right or to the left.

John 12:47-50
“As for the person who hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it. [48] There is a judge for the one who rejects me and does not accept my words; that very word which I spoke will condemn him at the last day. [49] For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it. [50] I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say.”

John 14:3-6

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. [4] You know the way to the place where I am going.”

[5] Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

[6] Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Acts 4:12

Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.”