Author Archives: jeanieshaw

Opening Day at Fenway

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Some days it’s just nice to be grateful for the simple things in life.  I love this scripture, and believe that wherever we live we can see God’s amazing work and learn to love our surroundings. Psalm 16:5-6
Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
        you have made my lot secure.
    [6] The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
        surely I have a delightful inheritance.

This post was written several years ago but still reflects my sentiments.(One disclaimer – while I’m still a loyal fan, I get increasingly disappointed when the game becomes only about business.)  While there is not much spiritual depth in these words, sometimes I just like to be thankful for simple joys. And…of course we know that the first verse of the Bible includes baseball.  Genesis 1:1  In the “big inning” God created the heavens and the earth.  (Forgive me … I  learned that in elementary school.)

Opening Day – (Why I love New England)

Today is opening day at Fenway Park. It is cold and rainy outside.

You know why I love New England? Because no matter the weather, people will be at the park early to purchase their sausages piled high with onions and peppers. The stands will be full, as they always are. The fans will sing along to Tessie and Sweet Caroline. I just love living here. 

I grew up in the South.  I graduated from the University of Florida and have lived in New England for the last 22 (update: now 29) years of my life, after a few other southern stops.  As soon as I arrived, I knew I had finally come “home”.  I found a place that matched my driving and my dreams.

When I was a child, my mother read me a book with the most amazing pictures of children building snowmen..of white steeple churches, pumpkin patches and  beautiful, colorful leaves. I wondered where such a wondrous place might be!  Was it real?

Then I found it. It is real. I saw my very first snowflake in the Carolinas while on my honeymoon and I’ve loved snow ever since. I still love it!  There is nothing more peaceful and beautiful than a snowfall. There is also nowhere else in the world I know of where I can look outside at the park across the street from my house and watch the girls’ high school tennis team shovel snow off the courts. I played tennis in high school and never was there such fun. We just sweat a lot – all the time.

Here in New England my mind can’t easily get lazy. I returned early this morning after dropping my husband off at Logan. I went through the “fast lane” into the Sumner Tunnel. Approximately ten lanes converged into one.  (update: Thanks America – for the Big Dig which helped alleviate this situation.) It was “cut throat” and you had to stay sharp to live.  Compare that to the challenge of my last trip down south.  I slowly meandered through back roads, searching to find any roadside stand that sold boiled peanuts.  I turned back onto the highway (of course blocking a lane to make my left turn…how else do you do it?) and realized from others’ looks I would likely be locked up if I did that again.

In New England what you see is what you get.  There is no fluff – except fluffr’nutter sandwiches (peanut butter and marshmallow fluff) – which were new to me upon my arrival. Here, if someone doesn’t like something you say or do they won’t politely smile and say “why thank you darlin'” and then talk about you to someone else. Just yesterday I was in line at a fast food place on the Mass Pike and the guy in front of me was given the wrong order.  When he (the customer) mentioned it the person “waiting” on him said, “Buddy, that’s not my problem.” See, here you just get what is really on one’s mind, unfiltered.

In my hometown I grew up attending almost every home University of Florida football game.  (Steve Spurrier was the quarterback then.)  It was a great experience and I was a devoted fan. Often, I came home sunburned.   Several years ago my husband and son sat through a blizzard watching the Pats beat Oakland. They came home with no feeling in their arms or legs, but it was a “wicked awesome” experience. No comparison.

So today, as I drove home from a morning appointment in the cold and rain I was grateful for all the many blessings I have living here, but still wishing I could be sitting at Fenway Park about now.  I think we play the Orioles.  Doesn’t matter…I know the main chant will be about the Yankees. But I can’t go.  I’ll need to help pump the water from the snow melt out of the basement. Somewhere along the way, I have become a New Englander… and I really do love it.
 

Were Cows Just Here?

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Did a herd of cows visit my yard last night?

My olfactory senses were awakened as I walked outside my door.  The smell of manure was intense.  I had previously gone on an errand to drop off a form at the town office.  It appeared that the herd had visited the town office yard as well.  In fact, we learned that all town-owned properties had received a generous dump of manure based fertilizer.  Since our house is surrounded by a town park, we were recipients of this very special aroma.  Even now if I go outside and take a whiff….the smell  of cow dung fills my nostrils.  It’s not pleasant.

There are many things I love to smell.  I love the smell of bread baking, or of cookies in the oven.  My mouth waters when I come inside my house to the smell of a roast, especially when it is cooking with onions and garlic.  I enjoy the smell of coffee brewing in the morning.  I will soon enjoy the fragrance of the lilacs out my back door.  I don’t enjoy the smell of this concoction on the field by my house.

It is interesting to me to learn that God has a keen sense of smell.  Thirty nine times the Old Testament speaks of aromas that are pleasing to God.  These aromas are most often from roasted lamb; however at times it’s beef or  even bread being baked over a fire that brings pleasure to his sense of smell.

Actually, these verses aren’t written so we can know what kind of food God prefers.  Upon further study, the pleasing aroma is not so much from the smell of the food cooking, but from the hearts who laid these sacrifices on the altar. Yes, God can smell our hearts.   Those who were eager to sacrifice and to obey the will of God brought Him great joy.  He also knew when someone’s “sacrifice” was obligatory or from leftovers.  He was, and always has been, looking to see what is in our hearts as we approach Him.  God has shown us His love in a way no other ever has.  We didn’t and don’t deserve that kind of love yet he willingly gave his own son, his own self…for us.  In response, he desires our hearts, completely.

Romans 12:1

    Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship.

In the New Testament, the new and superior plan God gave us after Jesus died we find out His sense of smell has not changed.

2 Cor. 2:14-17

    But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. [15] For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. [16] To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? [17] Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, like men sent from God.

This tells me that when I walk with Jesus and spread the news of Him it smells wonderful to God.  And  that as I follow Christ I leave the fragrance of “eu de knowledge of Christ” that is more precious than any other fragrance imaginable. Those whose hearts desire to know God love this fragrance and gravitate to it.  To others, who don’t want to change their lives to please God  – it stinks.

I pray that the best fragrance known to God can exuded from me today.  Hopefully it can overcome the stench outside.

 

 

 

 

 

Walking the Power Lines

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I love my prayer walks.  Wyndham and I often walk along a gravel/mud path across from our house that follows several miles of power lines.  Yesterday as we walked and prayed (and scolded Denver for eating the leash) I kept noticing the path of wires above me. 

It is at times disconcerting to hear the electricity’s snap, crackle and pop in these wires.  I’ve also wondered (since I have been hit by lightning and currently walk under power lines) if I am overcharged with electrical current.  Is it just me or do others often get shocked when touching food on grocery shelves?  Regardless, it is perplexing to me to ponder the way power inside of these thin wires accomplishes so much.

I try to imagine what goes on inside of those wires – where at any given moment the flick of a switch allows me to turn darkness to light in my kitchen.  Miles away, someone else can stay warm even when the temperature outside is frigid… all because of the power going through these wires.

Even more amazing is what goes on as I walk under these wires.  I can open my mouth, or just speak from my heart  – and the Creator of the universe who gave me the breath of life hears what I say and is able to act on it.  While it’s incredible to look up and realize that the power going through the wires enables me to see when it is dark and allows someone else miles away to stay warm when it’s freezing outside –   this pales in comparison to what goes on below and beyond the wires.

Because of the prayers we pray as we walk the power lines, (or anywhere we may be) astounding things can happen.  As I focus prayer on certain individuals, situations and churches here or across the ocean I don’t know all that is happening… but I do know that power is being exerted there.  While I don’t know how God will answer my prayers I have often been amazed as I’ve seen unexplainable answers to these prayers by way of changed hearts or circumstances in those for whom I or someone else has requested God’s attention and intervention.

As I read my Bible I recount times when directed prayer resulted in: a nation crossing an ocean on dry ground; a giant falling as a result of a shepherd boy’s slingshot; a man staying safe while in a den of lions and three men inhabiting an inferno without a single hair on their bodies being singed.  After prayer thousands were fed from two fish and five loaves of bread, jail doors miraculously opened and on and on and on….

Psalm 77:11-19

    I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.

    [12] I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.

  [13] Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God?

    [14] You are the God who performs miracles;you display your power among the peoples. [15] With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.

Selah

 [16] The waters saw you, O God, the waters saw you and writhed;

   the very depths were convulsed. [17] The clouds poured down water, the skies resounded with thunder; your arrows flashed back and forth. [18] Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind, your lightning lit up the world; the earth trembled and quaked.

 [19] Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen.

As I go about my daily life I see people coming and going.  Often they hold a form of religion.  However, upon speaking to them I learn that all too often this form of religion is lacking in power. Power to make them feel secure and complete; to be confident about their eternity; to overcome sin; to build strong marriages; to give and receive forgiveness;  and to build relationships that help them be more like Jesus.    2 Tim. 3:2-5 … People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, [3] without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, [4] treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God– [5] having a form of godliness but denying its power…. (emphasis added)

As I walk along the power lines I am reminded that God’s power was made available to me through Jesus.  Romans 1:16  I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile.

 The power available to me in my life is the same power that raised Jesus from the dead (Romans 8:11); is made perfect in my weakness (2 Cor. 12:9); can accomplish more than I dare ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20,21); and gives me everything I need for life and Godliness (2 Peter 1:3)

Our connection to God accesses power that is beyond anything physical or within the dimensions of our understanding.  So, as I walk along the power lines and consider all that is happening because of the activity going through the  wires may I be ever so aware, available and humbled by the power available to me through my relationship with God.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s Battle Time!

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It began as a silent battle.  I didn’t know I was being invaded by the dark side – the Borrelia burgdorferi spirochete.  These are the corkscrew shaped bacteria that cause Lyme disease.  I’ve learned a lot about Lyme these past few weeks. For instance, I didn’t know it could target certain areas of the body – like a heart. With their spiral twirls, they often strangle nerves and wreak havoc on our health. And in a twisted sort of way I’m very grateful for the miserable procedure I had about six weeks ago. After my catheter ablation these guys got angry.  Without this, these mean little spirochetes may have kept on gathering allies….silently setting the stage for a full out war. I had no idea who these guys were and that they were hiding out.  But now I know – and the battle is on! 

My cardiologist and primary care physician both informed me that the Lyme treatment which causes the bacteria to die might cause my heart and body to feel a “little funky” for a while during the initial “die off”. (Not sure that was the exact medical terminology used, but it’s what I remember.)   I stored that information away and this week began a long course of antibiotics, which will increase in dosage over time.  Whew….the natural frozen yogurt store opened in my town in just the knick of time – I obviously need those live yogurt cultures with probiotics regularly to balance the antibiotics, right?

Sure enough, since beginning the course of antibiotics I am awakened each morning about 3am by flutters, and a sense of something going on inside.  It feels sort of like something is attacking something. (more medical jargon).  This actually encourages me, as it tells me that the bad guys are going down.

I feel very thankful; if I had continued without knowledge of the presence of these bad guys they would have done more and more damage.  Now I know – and with proper armor can take them down!

I think of the spiritual war that goes on in our hearts day after day, often unseen.  If I remain unaware of the spiritual battle I will be defenseless as the forces of evil hold me captive.  However, from God’s Word I learn His plan for my life and how to experience the power to change and live a life that is complete and fulfilled – and pleasing to Him. I can be armed…and take the dark side down.  At times I can feel the strains of battle, but I know who ultimately wins!

Ephes. 6:10-18

    Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. [11] Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. [12] For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. [13] Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. [14] Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, [15] and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. [16] In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. [17] Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. [18] And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

1 John 4:4
You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

In It to Give It

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On the way to a marriage retreat this past weekend I received an e-mail from a friend.  He is suffering from extremely serious an advanced cancer and had just gone through ten hours of brain surgery the day before.  The subject line on his e-mail read “we are praying for you” and it was sent to encourage me in my recent health challenges – as well as to let me know that he and his wife were praying for me daily.  As I read his e-mail tears were streaming down my face.  It was so humbling, and encouraging – knowing that he and his wife (in all their pain) were thinking of and praying for me.  I felt very unworthy…   My little situation was so minor in comparison that I felt I didn’t  deserve to be the focus of their prayers.   But then I remembered the scripture Acts 20:35

    In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.'”

I realized that their “giving attitude” is the reason why they are so faithful and joyful amidst dire circumstances.  Even while enduring their trials they are in this life to give – just like Jesus. The fact that it is more blessed to give than receive is just the simple truth that can make you plain ol’ happy.  If I don’t allow myself to be given to, not only am I lacking humility – but I’m also standing in the way of someone’s happiness.

The following scripture has helped me, often in more ways than I can remember.  It grounds me and helps me renew my decision to give no matter the circumstance around me or emotions within me.    When I feel like something is unfair, when it is difficult to forgive, or when the sin of entitlement creeps in telling me I deserve something…. I try to picture the Son of God, the creator of the universe and his example as a servant. He was “in it to give it” .  I hear the words of this scripture in the recesses of my mind.  Sometimes it’s a fight of the wills, but nonetheless I know what is right and what brings joy so it’s best if I surrender.

Luke 17:3-10

    So watch yourselves.

    “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. [4] If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.”

    [5] The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”

    [6] He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.

    [7] “Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’? [8] Would he not rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’? [9] Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? [10] So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.’ ”

Everything I have is a gift from God and I don’t deserve any of it.  Whenever I think God owes me I become critical and self focused.   When I get my thinking straight about what God has done for me I want to reciprocate and give back.

Whether in my marriage, my friendships, my outreach, my work…. If I can approach them all with the attitude to give –  it makes a world of difference in how I feel and interact.   At times my own will and desire can fight the “giving spirit.”  Then I rely on God’s promise that He will give me the will and the power to accomplish His good pleasure. Philip. 2:13

for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.  

I rely on that.  I can’t do it without Him working in me to give me the will (the want to) as well as the strength to turn good intentions into actions.  I do want to be in it (this life) to give it (serving like Jesus served).

Showing Up

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It’s my routine every evening.  Before I retire for the night I let both dogs go outside.  They do their thing, always eager to come back inside for their night-time treats.  Last night was meant to be no different. They went out.  The puppy came bounding in doing all of his new tricks to earn his doggie treat.  Blackie (aka “Jackie”) didn’t return.

It was raining outside so I figured he must have needed a little more time since he should have been very eager to come in to the warm, dry house.  After a few minutes I called him again.  No response.  Today was trash day in our town, so I surmised that perhaps he was sniffing out a few cans, or checking out the fire hydrants.  Thirty minutes went by – still no response.  This is when my imagination kicked in.  I pictured him in the mouth of a coyote, cornered by angry skunks, stuck in a fence, or even sleeping beside a pot-bellied pig at a neighbor’s house.  (That had happened with a dog we had when she had stayed out all night)

Last night, as it neared midnight I was faced with a conundrum.  Should I go searching, or just wait for his return?  I scoped out the usual places and loudly called his name (sorry neighbors)-  but still no Blackie.  I knew I had a busy day today, so crawled into bed and tried to fall asleep – to no avail.  What if he was hurt, lost, or in trouble?  I prayed, and then watched some restaurant intervention show with a new plan to check the front door at every commercial.  I went to the door time and time again…and this is what I saw.   Yes, nothing!  It was such a sad, disappointing sight.   I kept envisioning the fluffly little ball of fur at the door but kept seeing …nothing.  1:00am – nothing.  1:30am – nothing.  2:00am – nothing.

I got to thinking about how God feels when waiting for me to “show up” with him when I get busy in the morning, or distracted  from time with him in prayer and in His word.   I can at times take time spent with God for granted, and exchange the important for the urgent.  Perhaps the most convicting, piercing scripture to me is from Luke 10:38-42

    As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. [39] She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. [40] But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

    [41] “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, [42] but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I recently read an article from Robert Boyd Munger’s  “My Heart Christ’s Home”.  While some parts I felt were lacking scripturally the following paragraphs moved me deeply as the author described a conversation with Jesus as he visited different rooms of our heart.

We walked next into the drawing room.  This room was rather intimate and comfortable.  I liked it.  It had a fireplace, overstuffed chairs, a bookcase, sofa, and a quiet atmosphere. 

He (Jesus) also seemed pleased with it. He said, “This is indeed a delightful room.  Let us come here often.  It is secluded and quiet and we can have fellowship together.”…

He promised, “I will be here every morning early.  Meet with me here and we will start the day together.”  So, morning after morning, I would come downstairs into the drawing room and He would take a book of the Bible…open it and we would read together.  He would tell me of its riches and unfold to me its truths…They were wonderful hours together. …

But little by little, under the pressure of many responsibilities, this time began to be shortened…I began to miss a day now and then….I would miss it two days in a row and often more.

I remember one day when I was in a hurry….As I passed the drawing room, the door was ajar.  Looking in I saw a fire in the fireplace and the Lord sitting there….”Blessed Master, forgive me.  Have you been here all these mornings?”

“Yes,” He said.  “I told you I would be here every morning to meet with you.” Then I was even more ashamed.  He had been faithful in spite of my faithfulness.  I asked His forgiveness and He readily forgave me…

He said, “The trouble with you is this:  You have been thinking of the quiet time, of the Bible study and prayer time, as a factor in your own spiritual progress, but you have forgotten that this hour means something to Me also.”

I think I sort of fell asleep for a couple of hours and then at 4:30am checked the door again…Blackie was there at the door, wet – and acting as if nothing had happened.  I then fell sound asleep.  He was home, out of harm’s way.

It’s such an amazing privilege to spend time with God… and I know how deeply I need it. Often, just showing up is the beginning of my growth.   Not only does “not showing up” make me vulnerable, but I can fail to see that this time matters to him.  Amazing.

 

Can A Truck Say “Choo-Choo”?

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My two 2-year- old grandchildren were having a discussion this morning.  My daughter summed up the context of their debate.   Lexi was trying to convince Micah that trucks could say “choo-choo”.  Micah was countering that only trains could say “choo-choo”.  That sound was not for trucks, but reserved for trains.  After some friendly bantering, they both agreed to disagree and moved on to their next game of taking “pretend naps” on the floor.

I thought about this discussion and smiled at their imagination.  I could picture them and each of the trucks and trains in play, along with the corresponding sounds they would make while playing.  Some of these particular trucks have seen a lot of play and actually talk quite a lot.  This one drives me crazy sometimes, barking out “Caterpillar Power”  just when I think it is fast asleep in the toybox.  I can tend to personalize toys.  I still take care putting the baby dolls away.  I want them to be warm and comfortable 🙂

So, can a truck say “choo-choo”?   I suppose,… but I think it would be  better said by the train. We are each created with different strengths.   I’m often struck by how similar but different each one of us is. We each have specific  ways we can particularly and uniquely use our experiences and gifts.

I love God’s church and the way he puts all her parts together.  Like an orchestra, when each part is doing what it does best and is working together – the resulting harmony  is stunning.  Everyone is important, everyone is needed.  Our differences teach us how to honor one another.  We are not meant to function as a church of one.  God has put us together for a reason.  We need each other.  God has planned and designed for us to function together as a body, a family, a household…his church.  We are meant to love each other and belong to each other.

Romans 12:1, 3-10

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God–this is your spiritual act of worship…

    For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. [4] Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, [5] so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. [6] We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. [7] If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; [8] if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

    [9] Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. [10] Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.

Today I am so grateful for the ways I see those in the church around me devote themselves and offer themselves – to God’s service and to the service of “one another”.    Like the truck, I will likely do best when I “vroom, vroom” rather than “choo-choo.”  However, I desperately need the “choo-choos” surrounding me.  We all need each other’s uniqueness amidst our unity in conviction and purpose.   May we each wholeheartedly offer ourselves – and what we uniquely contribute to God’s church.

Getting “Unstuck”

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Denver, our golden retriever pup, had me worried yesterday.  He was sick on his stomach and lethargic throughout the day and evening. Even as all the kids and grandkids gathered for a family dinner last night  Denver didn’t want to play – and he always wants to play!  Clearly, something wasn’t right.  This felt reminiscent of a time when his half-brother (Kristen’s dog, Luke) was ill and needed surgery in order to survive.  It was a rough time, and many prayers and dollars later a turquoise pacifier emerged from the dog’s intestines into the surgeon’s hand. The stuck object had to be freed in order for him to survive.  Otherwise, he could not take in any food or nutrients for processing. Fortunately he got “unstuck”.  Luke is now an active, healthy 3 year old dog.

This morning, Denver got his strength back.  He got “unstuck”.  It seemed he was heading toward the same situation  his older half-brother endured until, during his morning walk, a surprise appeared.  Yes, here it is (hosed off for pictures) in all its glory!  Denver had eaten (in entirety) a stuffed mouse – red with little green ears and beady eyes. Who knows where he found it?!  I was so grateful the mouse made it though to the other side. Otherwise, the consequences could have been dire.

How often we can take things in….and  get “stuck” because we don’t have an outlet for them.  We can become like the Dead Sea. The Dead Sea does not support life, because it has no outward flow – nowhere to go.

The Samaritan woman was stuck in fear, hopelessness and sin until she met Jesus.  John 4:7-15
  When a Samaritan woman came to draw water, Jesus said to her, “Will you give me a drink?” [8] (His disciples had gone into the town to buy food.)
    [9] The Samaritan woman said to him, “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. How can you ask me for a drink?” (For Jews do not associate with Samaritans.)
    [10] Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
    [11] “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? [12] Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his flocks and herds?”
    [13] Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, [14] but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
    [15] The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”

Whenever I am fearful,  discouraged, upset or lacking faith I have choices.  I  can hold these things in and try to carry them myself.   Nothing good ever comes from this.  I just becomes stagnate and stinky.  Yet, if I take these things to Jesus, he, through the living water he gives me, gets me “unstuck”.  When I get unstuck, then I can also offer the effects of this living water to those around me. What a great promise that I desperately need and count on.

Rev. 7:17
For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
        he will lead them to springs of living water.
    And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”
 

Closer Than a Tick on a Hound Dog

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I’ve never been fond of ticks.  I once accidentally picked up a well-fed tick off my kitchen floor, thinking I had dropped a blueberry. That was thoroughly disgusting – and it was a while before I was able to eat a blueberry again. Most ticks, however, are smaller than that.  Often they go unnoticed. 

I live in the midst of tick country.  Lyme, Connecticut, is not too far away from my home and the corridor where I live is known for its lyme disease carrying ticks. We get our dogs a lyme vaccine each year and we use a tick preventative on their fur coats. I’m careful to watch for ticks on their skin, and don’t even mind pulling them out. However, I guess I should have put some prevention on my hair. Somewhere, sometime in the recent past…I evidently had a tick that stuck quite closely to me.  I never even knew it was there.  Yet, it snuck on in and wreaked some havoc with me.

As previously shared, I recently had a heart catheter ablation.  It was actually a very needed and successful procedure, yet I started feeling worse than before I had it.   I read some people’s posts after they had their procedures, befuddled by their comments on the joys of their now quiet heart. I was truly happy for them – but knew something was wrong with me.

A couple weeks after my ablation, I was longing for that quiet heart. Things had gotten noisy for me.  I couldn’t sleep most nights, and felt like I was wired to an IV full of adrenaline mixed with caffeine.  I felt my heart beating through my eyelids, fingertips, ears, throat and my body would involuntarily start to shake. My pulse went up along with my blood pressure.  I could have taken orders for overnight house cleaning, gardening and various busywork – and gotten a lot accomplished…as I was on overdrive. It was truly miserable!  I found some relief from a prescribed medication, but unfortunately it was only treating the symptoms.  I was begging God for relief, most nights keeping music in my ears to try to gain some distraction.  I watched more  middle of the night “Chopped” and “Cupcake Wars” than I care to remember.

Today I saw my primary care physician and my cardiologist.  (Yes, the one with the 1950’s office).  I’m so grateful to have an astute physician who followed her hunch.  She had a premonition of what might be at the root of things and ordered a test for me last week – a western blot lyme test.  The positive result caused she and the cardiologist to let me know I had an acute case of lyme.  (A tick -or rather the lyme infection it had left me with, had been messing with my heart.)  Evidently, the prodding from the procedure (and possibly a flight) had stirred things up with the infection and caused these crazy episodes.  This news was a great birthday present, as I learned the root cause for my issues.  Once they get the heart rate down in about a week through medication, I can begin the lyme treatment and should see full and complete recovery!  My cardiologist stated I was “one lucky person”, as he thought that 99 out of 100 doctors (including him) would have never thought to check this. He felt that he would be pulling out his hair wondering what to check next.   I am very, very grateful.  Two scriptural principles stand out to me.

Jeremiah 6:14-16
    They dress the wound of my people
        as though it were not serious.
    ‘Peace, peace,’ they say,
        when there is no peace.
    [15] Are they ashamed of their loathsome conduct?
        No, they have no shame at all;
        they do not even know how to blush.
    So they will fall among the fallen;
        they will be brought down when I punish them,”

says the Lord.
 
    [16] This is what the Lord says:

    “Stand at the crossroads and look;
        ask for the ancient paths,
    ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
        and you will find rest for your souls.

This scripture teaches me that it does no good to put spiritual band-aids over life (spiritual, emotional and physical) issues that must be pulled out by the root….or to tell people they are okay with God, when in fact God’s own words may say differently. We must “test” our lives by God’s word to know the good way, to choose it and walk in it.  This choice can give rest for our souls.

Also, Proverbs 20:5 teaches me that I need others in my life to help me “diagnose” the things in my heart.
The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters,
        but a man of understanding draws them out.

I’m feeling grateful for the woman of medical understanding that looked deeper than the surface, to what lay under the band-aid.  I’m grateful for those who have helped me see these things spiritually as well.
 

The Day I Was Born

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Fifty-eight years ago today Porter Horne’s mother was exceedingly grateful.  The Horne’s, and their two little boys, lived across the pond from my family’s house.  On this particular day, March 23, 1954, five year old Porter was enjoying a tricycle ride with his older brother – until something went terribly wrong.   Porter rode his little trike down the dock and never put on the brakes.  He and his tricycle fell into the water.  His frightened brother ran to get their mother.  Their panicked mother, who could not swim, noticed my dad’s car pulling into his driveway at that exact time.  She screamed to my dad that her son was at the bottom of the pond.  My dad ran to the pond, jumped in and pulled the lifeless boy out of the murky water.  After a few minutes of mouth to mouth resuscitation, the boy began to breathe.  An ambulance arrived to take the boy to the local hospital where he completely recovered.

The headline from the Tampa Tribune the next day read, “Baby’s Birth Saves Gainesville Boy from Drowning”.   You see, my mother had called my Dad home that particular morning because of my imminent birth.  It happened at just the right time and place…  Not a minute too soon, or too late.  I don’t remember anything about the day I was born, but I’m sure Mrs. Horne remembered.  And I’m sure my parents remembered.  What is even more special to me is that God remembers, and knows the day I was born.

Psalm 139:13-16

    For you created my inmost being;

        you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

    [14] I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

        your works are wonderful,

        I know that full well.

    [15] My frame was not hidden from you

        when I was made in the secret place.

    When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

        [16] your eyes saw my unformed body.

    All the days ordained for me

        were written in your book

        before one of them came to be.

 These verses amaze me, showing me that I’m known, created and cared for by God.

Acts 17:26-27

    From one man he made every nation of men that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. [27] God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.

I am humbled that God also picked the time and place for me to live, in order for me to seek him, reach out for him and find him.

I am also truly amazed that God looks at each of us as described below.   No matter what circumstances we were born into, or whether or not anyone cares that we were born….God does care, lovingly picks us up and wants  us feel valued and known – to be found by Him.   I have had the incredible privilege to know and love many young men and women who grew up as orphans.  They grew up never knowing their birthdays. I was able to celebrate birthdays with many of them for the first time. Their life had previously not been celebrated by another person.  But God celebrated them all along.

Ezekiel 16:1-7

    The word of the Lord came to me: [2] “Son of man, confront Jerusalem with her detestable practices [3] and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says to Jerusalem: Your ancestry and birth were in the land of the Canaanites; your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite. [4] On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths. [5] No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you. Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised.

    [6] ” ‘Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, “Live!” [7] I made you grow like a plant of the field…….

I particularly miss my mom and dad on my birthday, as I think about the difference they made in my life from that day forward….as well as the difference in Porter Horne’s life, his parent’s life, his brother’s life and so many, many other lives.  I pray likewise, that my life and your life can be always be used to help other people find life.